Gem in the Rough

Chapter 11

The three hours of work are complete torture. The only people in the office are me, Kieran, and another tech named Chris. Since Sundays are so slow, the time drags on. I spend most of the time working on a paper for one of my psychology classes. The rest of the time, I'm trying not to think about Kieran. It's a little difficult considering he's in the next room and we're going to be leaving for coffee in ten minutes.

I don't even know how I got here. A few weeks ago, all I was worrying about was school, tutoring, and this desk job. An occasional night out was the only release, other than my monthly therapy sessions with Stacey. Even that isn't much of a stress reliever anymore considering a visit with my dad is included.

As much as I don't want to admit it, Alice is right. I've been living my life for others, not for myself.

My dad has always been the one person I've wanted to please because I crave his approval, but nothing seems to be enough. I've done everything he's wanted other than picking my current major. I've continuously gone home every month at his request, only to feel like shit whenever I step into his house.

I hate bitching about my life because I know others have had it so much worse than I have but that doesn't make my issues invalid. Stacey has to remind me of this a lot.

She's also reminded me that my anxiety and anal tendencies come from the need to be 'perfect' and that's impossible. My dad has made me feel like I need to be perfect my entire life and I've just started to take it easier on myself. I don't want Kieran fucking that up for me. I already feel myself slipping into the negative thoughts of "am I enough?" and "what did I do wrong?" because of the way he's been acting.

Either way, I need to focus on what I want, and at this point Kieran is what I want. I just don't want to lose myself or my progress because of him. I barely know him other than knowing he's attractive, funny, and mysterious, but I just get this feeling that we were meant to cross paths. Whether it's a blessing, or to teach me a lesson, I'm not sure.

I must have spaced out for the remaining ten minutes of my shift, because I hear Kieran's voice asking Chris to turn off the lights in the tech room.

"Hey, Gemma. You ready to go?" Kieran makes his way around the corner as I stand up, packing my bag. I notice he uses my full name, and it strangely bothers me.

"Yep, just let me clean up my desk quick." I take my things and put them in my bag, including my laptop and psychology textbook. I also unplug my cell from its charger and put it in the back pocket of my jeans. I can already feel my palms getting sweaty.

Chris leaves the office, waving to us on his way out. Kieran and I say our goodbyes to him and lock the door behind us.

"So, the cafe at the end of campus?" Kieran shifts his backpack over his shoulder and pushes his hair out of his eyes. The blue globes stare into mine while I shift my own bag. I nod my head in response, but neither of us move.

After a few moments of silence, we hear a door shut in the distance and our eye contact ends. "Yeah, let's go," I say as we begin to walk out of the building. I take this opportunity to wipe my palms on my jeans.

We don't talk much on the walk over to campus, just the typical small talk about how our shift went and the weather. We get to the cafe, and I wave to Genna who is wiping down a table when we walk in.

"Hey M, how's it going?" Genna greets me as I walk to the table.

"It's going, N," I laugh. "This is Kieran. Kieran, this is Genna."

"Wow, Genna and Gemma, huh?" Kieran shakes her hand. So formal. I dig it.

Genna laughs and nods her head. "Yep. That's where the nicknames come from. Gemma is here quite a bit. Probably more than she wants me to tell you. Why don't you take a seat, and I can get your usual? What's your poison, Kieran?"

I sit down at the table. Kieran sits across from me as I hand Genna some cash for the coffee. "I think it's an iced caramel mocha, right?" I ask him. He confirms his order, smiling at me as if he's amazed that I remembered his order.

"Perfect. Coming right up." Genna walks back behind the barista bar and gets to work on our drinks.

"You didn't have to pay for me you know."

"It was my idea to come here, so it's my treat." I wave it off but don't make eye contact. I suddenly get more nervous than I was before. I don't know what we're even going to talk about right now and my anxiety is going through the roof. I guess coffee wasn't the brightest idea now that's I'm thinking about it.

Genna returns with the drinks and my change, but I tell her to keep it. "Thanks, N!"

She smiles in response, sending me a wink before walking away back to her post behind the counter. I shake my head and sigh. Of course, Genna could pick up on the energy at the table.

I take a sip of my latte and notice a song playing through the speakers at the corner of the cafe. I start tapping my foot on the ground and singing along quietly, keeping my mouth near the lip of my to-go cup. One could mistake it as me using it as a microphone. I guess it's not much of a mistake.

The song is Weightless by All Time Low. This song is giving me classic middle-school vibes and I love it. I know this is Genna's music choice because we have the same taste. I stop abruptly and remember that I have company. I finally look up at Kieran, my cheeks burning.

Kieran's eyes are intense and filled with wonder, a faint smile on his face. I brush my curls behind my ear and take another sip, continuing to tap my foot. I can't help it; this song brings me so much nostalgia.

"Sorry, I love this song," I start, and Kieran speaks up at the same time as I do, both of us saying "such a throwback". Our gaze meets again, and we laugh.

"You were into this kind of music?" I ask.

"Were? Um, try am. I love All Time Low. They keep getting better. Also, The Maine and I'm so upset that The Cab and The Summer Set broke up." Kieran enthusiastically tells me about these bands and I stare at him in awe. I grew up listening to all the bands he talked about and going to their concerts. There's no way this is real.

Kieran notices me staring and his smiled fades. I quickly speak in hopes that his beautifully bright smile wouldn't disappear completely.

"I'm staring because I'm impressed and excited, not because I don't know what you're talking about. I love all those bands and then some. I never find anyone who knows who all of them are. I'm seriously surprised."

"Me either. This is pretty cool," Kieran laughs, taking a sip of his coffee and setting it down on the table.

We both go quiet, just looking at our coffees, unsure of what to say next.

"So, I want to tell you why I've been acting the way I have," Kieran says.

I sit up straight and take a nervous sip, some coffee dribbling down my lip. I go to wipe it with my hand when Kieran's beat me to it. His thumb brushes my chin, slightly grazing my bottom lip in the process. I suck in a breath when Kieran doesn't take his hand away. I look at him through my lashes, noting that his eyes are darker than before. He touches my chin once more, bringing his hand to my cheek.

"Can we go to your apartment? I'd rather talk there if that's okay."

I nod in agreement, unable to verbalize a response. What the fuck is this guy doing to me?