Gem in the Rough

Chapter 19

I leave therapy feeling refreshed. Even though I did most of the talking, it helped me process my feelings. I feel more "normal" now. Especially once I realized that I never really had this phase in my life of dating and boyfriends, so I have to learn on my own time. Kieran was so unexpected, in the best way, but my brain wasn't ready for it. Now I'm working through it like I need to, at my own pace.

The drive to my dad's house isn't very long but I wish it were. I don't think I'm telling him tonight because nothing is even official with Kieran and I don't know if or when it will be, so I'll wait until that happens. Maybe it's me trying to procrastinate on the inevitable but I don't care. I'll make as many excuses as I want.

I text Alice, letting her know I made it to my dad's, and slip my phone in my purse again. I walk towards the house and enter, seeing my dad come around the corner by the kitchen. I set my duffle bag down by the stairs.

"Hi sweetie, how was the drive?" He asks, wiping his hands on a towel.

"It was good."

"And therapy?"

"It was good."

I cough awkwardly. This is why I suck at keeping secrets. I shut down and sound like a robot.

He eyes me suspiciously and nods, telling me he made dinner. My eyes widen in surprise.

"You made dinner? Since when do you cook?"

"Hey now, I cook. I realized that I was eating out too much and have been, uh, teaching myself how to cook." He rushes past the statement like it isn't a big deal, reaching for two plates and silverware. He hands me one set, gesturing for me to take some of the chicken laid out on the stove.

It smells like lemon pepper and there are roasted potatoes in a pan next to it.

"Wow, this smells amazing and looks great. You decided to learn when I moved out? Rude!" I laugh and look at him, his face turning red in embarrassment. I don't typically joke with him like this, but I can't help myself. Now I'm wondering if I went too far.

And now I'm wondering how we got to the point that making a joke was going "too far".

"Sorry, dad, I didn't mean anything by that."

He then laughs, "No, no worries. You're right. But I want to make up for that, hence the dinner now. Now let's sit. Do you want to sit at the table or watch a movie?"

I stare at him, unsure of what's going on. We always watch a movie when we eat together so we don't get too caught up in conversation. As much as I want to try out this whole 'sitting at the table' thing, I also don't want the topic of Kieran to come up.

"Umm, let's watch a movie?" I ask, grabbing food and rushing out to the living room. My dad follows a few minutes later and he picks out Avengers. I nod in approval.

We both sit on our respective places on the couch and we're silent as we eat. When I'm finished, I let my dad know how good the food was.

"It was delicious. Thank you."

He smiles at me and sets his plate down on the coffee table. "You're welcome. Hopefully, I can make you dinner again when you're here next. And um, Gemma?"

I look up from my shirt, where I had been wiping off the crumbs from dinner. "Yeah?"

"You can come home more than once a month, you know that, right?" He looks almost shy.

I have no idea where this is coming from, so I say the only thing that comes to mind.

"Yeah, but my work schedule. You know how it is. Always working, then school. So busy." I rush the words out in a panic. I thought this nonverbal agreement of me coming home once a month because of therapy was going well. I didn't think he had a problem with it at all and now he's throwing this to me out of nowhere.