Gem in the Rough

Chapter 30

I hear a knock on my door, and I grunt in response, "go away." I'm lying in my bed in a cocoon of blankets, staring at the ceiling.

"Gemma Ruby Stone, I will not go away."

I hear another voice with Alice's, "Is that really her full name?" It's Kieran.

"Yes, that's her full name. Interesting right? I always thought it was pretty, but she isn't really a fan of-". Alice stops and grunts. "Sorry, distracted. Gemma, you need to let us in. Metaphorically and physically." I hear her giggle at her joke, and it almost makes me smile. Almost.

It's Tuesday evening and I haven't left my room other than to use the bathroom and get more gummy bears from the kitchen. Alice has been trying to talk to me about what happened last weekend and I haven't wanted to talk about it. I'm not ready. I can't comprehend everything that my mom told me, and I've been avoiding my dad. He's texted me a couple of times to check in like usual and I haven't responded.

I don't know how to face him. Or anyone. Alice knows something big happened because Kieran told her, but he refused to tell her anything else because I asked him not to. I want to keep this to myself until I read my mom's letter. I need the whole story before I do anything else, but I haven't gotten myself to open it yet.

Kieran is here so we can read it together, but I locked him out because I'm scared.

I drag myself out of bed with my comforter around my body and walk to my desk, picking up the envelope. This letter will make everything real. Right now, I can pretend that this weekend was a dream. When I read the letter, I can't pretend anymore. I don't think I'm ready. I've been avoiding all responsibilities since Sunday after Kieran went home.

We didn't want to leave one another but he had to go home to take care of some things at his apartment; his roommate is upset at him for never being there anymore. The second he left, I made a nest in my bed and haven't really left since. Kieran has helped me with any classes and work shifts that I've missed.

I hear Alice and Kieran talking outside of my door about who is going to break the door in, and I sigh, walking over and opening it quickly.

"There, now nobody has to kick it in." I turn around and stomp back to my bed. Yes, stomp. I'm being a child, but I think I have a right to throw a bit of a tantrum right now.

I keep having to remind myself that Kieran is going through this with me. He's found out this major thing that affects him too, so I need to be there for him. I can't be selfish even though that's what my mind is telling me to do.

Kieran comes into the room, a bag of food in his hands. Alice trails hesitantly behind him with a tray of drinks.

"I got us some food. Enough for Alice, too..." Kieran trails off. He sets the food down on the desk and takes his jacket off, resting it on the chair. He comes to sit next to me on the bed. "Do you want her to stay in here with us?" He knows that I need her, he just doesn't want to tell me that I do.

"Stop tip-toeing around, please." I sigh and look at Alice who is still standing in the doorway, afraid to enter. "Come in, Alice. I'm sorry." I open my arms, silently asking her to give me a hug.

Alice sets the drinks down and grips me tight. "I know I sounded confident out there, but I've been so worried. If you're still not ready for me to listen, let me know and I'll leave. But I want to be here for you."

"I know. You need to know, so you can stay." I guess it's time to fill her in. "Can we eat first?"

Kieran sets our food out and I finally recognize that it's McDonald's. I smell the French fries and my mouth waters. I didn't realize how hungry I am until now. We eat mostly in silence. I see that Alice is looking at me the whole time, like she's afraid I'm going to break or tell her to leave any minute. I reach over and touch her hand, giving her a small smile. She returns it.