Gem in the Rough

Chapter 27

"Gemma?" Her face pales in real time and I feel mine doing the same.

"What? Mom?" Kieran is looking between us as he takes my mom's towel from her apron and wipes the water that is still dripping into my lap. He's frantic.

I keep staring at her, noticing how much she has matured. She still has the same features as the photo I have of her, but she's aged a lot. I notice how long her hair has gotten and how she's wearing small, purple stud earrings. I also notice how the diner atmosphere is still bustling but our table is quiet and seems separated from that world.

"Gem, what's going on?"

I shake my head and look away from the woman who birthed me, finally having the courage to look at Kieran.

"She's my mom, Kieran. This is my mom. Or my donor, however you want to look at it. I need to go."

I stand up abruptly, ice cubes falling from my thighs onto the floor. I slide past Kieran and make a beeline to the front of the diner, pushing the doors open and waiting until I'm outside to let my tears fall. A loud sob escapes my throat, closing in on me until I can barely breathe.

I walk to the side of the building, away from the windows, crying into my sweater sleeve. I start to breathe erratically, and I already know what's happening. I try to stop it with some of my breathing techniques and nothing is working. I slide to the ground, knowing it's dirty but not caring in the moment. I put my head between my jean-clad legs and try to breathe. In, out. In, out.

I hear footsteps slowly coming up to me and I don't dare look up, but I see Kieran's shoes to my left.

"Can I hug you? Or what can I do?" He bends down and whispers this, keeping a distance away in case I need it.

"Hug me...please. Apply...pressure." I say in between big breaths. He does what I ask, his long arms going around my body, applying as much weight onto me as he can.

I continue to cry, knowing that I need to pull myself together. I can't believe she's here. She's been this close all this time and she didn't come back for me. I don't understand. She looked like she saw a ghost when she looked at me, not even a little bit excited. Does she really hate me that much?

I feel Kieran's hold tighten a little more and I take a shaky breath and then gasp when I realize something. I peer up over my knees, trying to get Kieran's attention.

"Kieran, that's my mom."

"Yes, apparently she is." He lifts his head to look at me, a look of sympathy in his eyes.

"Kieran, that's MY mom. She's also Jillian's mom, right?"

His eyes widen, like he's just putting it together. I guess I can't blame him because so am I. The shock was just too much for me to think about anything else.

"Jillian is my sister."

We sit in silence as my breathing starts to slow, too distracted to continue with my panic attack. A light drizzle falls from the sky but we're under the awning in front of the diner, so at least we have that going for us. Kieran moves so he's sitting next to me, his hand still on my back, slowly stroking up and down.

"I guess this makes sense. You look so alike. I just don't even know what to say. I..." he trails off, not knowing how to continue.

"I don't know what to say either. I just can't believe she's here. She's always been here, just a couple of hours away. Do I go back and face her? What do we do now?"

Kieran doesn't say anything. He just stares at the ground in front of us, where a small puddle is forming. "I really don't know."

We sit for a while, listening to the rain drop lightly to the ground. My breathing has slowed, a numbness forming inside of me. I refuse to feel anything for this woman who abandoned me. I have tried so hard to rebuild what she broke and when things are falling into place, she comes back to ruin it. Even though I don't want to feel anything for her, I do need answers.