I change quickly into some pajamas before rushing down the stairs to help my dad pick out a movie. We decide to watch Firefly, one of his favorite Sci-FY movies. As he starts up the movie, he asks how school has been going.
"It's good. I've still been keeping up, so no worries there."
"That's great. Remember, just study and work. That's the motto until you're done there," he gives me a firm look, just as he always does when I'm at home and he tells me this 'motto'.
"Yes, dad. 'Study and work', I got it. Don't worry, I have no social life just like you want." I roll my eyes, already over this conversation.
He sighs and starts to mess with the remote, not making eye contact. "You know I just don't want anything messing up your grades. You also have to work to keep up on your bills. I want you to make something of yourself, to be independent, you kno-." I cut him off.
"Dad, I'm 20 years old, I think I understand at this point what I need to do. I go to classes, I study, I tutor other students to make money, and then I go to work almost every day at the tech office. The job there I have is steady. I'm doing everything I can to stay on track, okay? I'm surprised I even have time to sleep most of the time." I rant without taking a breath and shift my eyes back to my dad, his face red.
"Okay. I'm glad things are fine." His tone indicates that the discussion is over, which is what I wanted.
This is a typical exchange between us when I'm home. Since I can remember, he has been telling me to focus on my studies and to work harder for this or for that. I've never been able to have a social life or enjoy things without worrying about being 'perfect'. Whether it's masking as the perfect daughter, the perfect student, or the perfect robot of a person, it's what has caused my anxiety. I've tried to explain this to him, and it's never changed the way he treats me.
I understand that he's my dad and wants the best for me, but it gets to a point where there are too many expectations and I start getting resentful. We're at that point in our relationship now and I hate it, which is why I only come home once a month. I wouldn't even come that often if I didn't have therapy, but Stacey suggested trying to keep as much of a connection with him as I can if I want to continue moving forward.
At least until he gives me a bigger reason not to continue the relationship. I can take his expectations for now, but I'm hoping once I graduate and show him that I'm not a fuck-up, he'll stop being so suffocating.
The rest of the night includes eating our take-out and watching the movie in almost complete silence. The occasional "pass the lo-mien" or "napkin please" are the only things said the rest of the night. When the movie is over, I help clean up the food and say goodnight to my dad.
"I'll probably head out before you wake up. I have a work shift in the morning."
"Okay. Well, it was nice to see you, sweetie. Thanks for coming. I'll see you next month, right?"
My dad walks towards me and gives me one of his awkward side-hugs. Him being six-foot and towering over me makes it worse.
"Yup. I'll see you then." I return the hug and go up the stairs, two at a time, hoping to get away from the stress of this visit sooner rather than later. I just want to go back to my home with Alice, where I belong.
--
It's a little after 2pm by the time I'm finally back in my apartment. I got off work and walked straight home, hoping to have a glass of wine to take the edge off. Opening the door to the apartment, I see Alice with our friend Tina in the kitchen making grilled cheese.
"Uh oh, I know what grilled cheese means. You guys going out tonight?" I ask them as I close the door behind me, my overnight bag still over my shoulder.
"Yeah, and you're coming with us! Right?" Tina gives me an expectant look.
"Not that I'm aware of," I laugh, going to my room and setting my bag on the bed. I hear footsteps behind me and turn to see Tina and Alice in my doorway, hands on their hips. I laugh, "Is this an intervention?"
"More like we're trying to cheer you up. I saw how good you felt last weekend when we were dancing, and you were able to let loose. It sounds like you need some fun after the night at your dad's." Alice crosses her arms and looks at me, knowing it's true.
"Yeah, I guess that's right. I just don't have the money. I also have to work tomorrow morning, so even if I did go out, I can't get too wild. Maybe it's best if I don't so I don't hold you two back." Honestly, a night in with a book sounds great, but I know going out would make Alice happy.
"Oh, stop. You can always go home early, and I won't push drinks at you, okay? Plus, you may see Mr. Mysterious."
"Pfft. I don't care about that," I wave at her and feel my cheeks flush. I do care, but I'm not going to admit it.
---
"Okay, Alice. I have to leave by midnight. If I can't find you for some reason, I'll text you and let you know when I've left."
Alice turns her head towards me as we walk into the same club from last week. Alice moves closer to my ear and says, "make sure you text me when you get home too." I smile and nod back at her.
The club is just as busy as last week and I'm more excited than I want to admit. I've been waiting barely a couple of days to see Kieran again, but it feels like so much longer. I hope he'll be here tonight, preferably without a beautiful, blonde companion this time.
As Alice and Tina make their way to the bar, I slowly scan the dance floor looking for the familiar blue eyes.
I'm wearing another dress that had been hidden in my closet for the last few months. It hits mid-thigh and is a deep red, a complement to my pale skin. The sweetheart neckline enhances my large chest, and I am feeling extremely sexy. My thick, wavy hair falls over my shoulders, adding to the look. I'm even wearing heels, which to my surprise, I've been walking well in.
It is a colder night, but I knew I'd be heating myself up with dancing. This led to Alice getting her way and talking me into the outfit. I even let her do a smoky-eye makeup look. When I looked in the mirror before I left, I hadn't believed it was me.
While I scan the crowd, I realize eyes stopping and looking at something, someone around me I assume. I search my surroundings, to my left and to my right, to see what they're staring at. Turns out, they're looking at me.
Alice and Tina come up with drinks in hand. I take the one given to me and slam the contents. I need to start and stop quickly, so no time to waste.
"Whoa, Gemma. Looks like you're bringing in a lot of attention tonight. I don't blame them. That dress accentuates everything," Tina says loudly. She had already taken a few shots before leaving the apartment, so she's feeling the alcohol by now.
Alice gasps and taps my shoulder excitedly, leaning into my ear. "Gemma, Gemma. Don't look now, but your guy is in the corner to your right. He's looking right at you. Just a heads up, looks like there's a girl trying to talk to him, but he isn't paying her any attention."
I shake my head slowly, acknowledging her statement. I feel excitement rush through my body. "Let's dance girls." I set my glass down on a nearby table and make my way to the middle of the dance floor, my friends in tow.
I begin swaying my hips, bringing my arms above my head and moving them down again to shimmy against Alice jokingly. She begins laughing and then stops suddenly, raising her eyebrows and smirking. She uses her eyes to communicate something.
Little did she know, I could already feel his presence.
YOU ARE READING
Gem in the Rough
Romance"Did you know that you just pull me in? I can't stop thinking about you." Kieran's eyes are shut, his head against the back of the couch, while making his confession. I guess he had moved in the few moments I'd been in my own thoughts. "Is that a ba...
