Gem in the Rough

Chapter 40

We stare at the envelope in complete silence, until I finally get the courage to speak.

"That's her handwriting?"

"Yes."

Kieran's voice is dry but sure. No hesitation.

"She knew about me?"

His eyes lift to mine and he looks just as lost as I do. "I have no idea. Open it." His voice is urgent, needing to know what this means.

My shaky hand grabs the envelope from his. I find my way back to the bed with Kieran following behind me. I don't think I've ever been so nervous in my life. Closing my eyes, I take deep breaths. I feel Kieran begin to breathe with me. It calms me even more to see he's using this coping skill with me, knowing it will help, even if it's just a little bit.

After a minute or so, I feel eased enough to open the envelope. It was never completely sealed, so I lift the tab effortlessly and bring out what looks to be a letter. Unfolding the paper, I let out a nervous sigh. "Here we go," I mumble. I begin to read silently, with Kieran reading it with me over my shoulder.

"Gemma,

You don't know me, but my name is Jillian, and I guess we're sisters? I'm your twin. Now, I know it sounds absolutely bonkers but it's true. I've been sitting here for hours trying to think of how to start this letter to you, so I figured I'd just come out and say it, so I'm sorry if this is a terrible way to do this. I just can't face you in person yet.

I found out about a little over a month ago. I was going through boxes in the attic and found my birth certificate, and there was another there with it. It was your name and it showed that we were born on the same date, near the same time. By the way, you're my little sister by about ten minutes, sorry!

I've always wanted a sister and now I have one who I can share everything with. I can teach you so many things and you can tell me all about your life. I can't wait to send this letter to you so you can know about me, but I'm so scared to do it.

I don't want your life to be turned upside down. I haven't even told my mom that I know about you. I don't know what happened that had us separated and I honestly don't care, as long as I can meet you and know you.

Now, don't call me creepy, but I went to go see you at your high school. I looked up your name and went to find you. You're so beautiful. It's weird to say that, because we look so much alike, but you are. I did notice that you don't look very happy though. I don't know why you're so sad, but I wish I could make it better. I feel like telling you about this would make it worse and I just don't know what to do.

Honestly, when I found out I was so mad. Mad at my mom, the world, everyone who has kept us apart. It's been messing me up so badly. I've been drinking all the time with my boyfriend, Brendon. He's so HOT, Gemma. But he's not good for me, and I know that.

I just feel like I'm losing myself right now without you around. I don't know who I am, or who I was supposed to be. Or who I could have been with you in my life. I'm a mess and I don't know how to approach you. This letter seemed like the best way, but now I really don't know if I can even send it. It's just a piece of paper with my weird and awkward confessions on it.

I guess we can keep on with the rambling. Might as well go all in, right?

I want to tell you about the most important person in my life because he is the one person who I wish I could share with you. Who I wish I could share you with. His name is Kieran."

I stop reading when I see his name and I know he sees it now too, his eyes beginning to water even more than they had been, a groan leaving his throat. He sounds like he's in pain. Kieran leans back so he's lying on the bed, his palms over his face, shuddering. I set the letter down and wrap my arm around his torso, the other playing with his hair.