An Arcane Scrapbook Collection

DWC /// Day 11 - Dear Future me

Hey,

It's me. You, but... younger.

To be honest... I don't really know what to say, I guess I'll just start somewhere.

I'm 20 when I'm writing this and needless to say, things aren't great.

I started smoking around a year ago... been trying to cut it out, it's not been easy. Jace's been helping with that, but much like everything else, it doesn't seem to work. Hope that's not the case later.

Jace, she... she's still with us?

I feel things for her. You probably don't remember, but I love her. A lot. She's one of the few people I feel like actually understands me, you know.

Do I ever tell her?

I hope I lived long enough to tell her... to tell them all.

Do the nightmares still haunt you into endless sleepless nights?

Does it still hurt? Does it still haunt you?

Or do the nights get easier...? Does it no longer hurt to eat, to smile, to live?

Did you get all those tattoos to cover up the scars like we always wanted...?

Did you recover your sense of purpose?

Or are you still searching...

Did the pain from the past consume you like everyone thought it would...? Or did you finally learn to forgive yourself... and find the peace of mind to let it go.

I don't know if you'll ever make me proud. I don't know if that's something you'd value much, to be honest... I just hope you're not in pain...

I hope you aren't haunted by the mistakes of the past. I hope you learned to forgive... to move on.

But above all, I hope you learned to love yourself... I hope it's better now.

I'm sorry I couldn't do that for you now... I'm sorry I failed us... for so long...

I'm sorry. I hope you're happy now.

-Eden

--------------------------------Jace's because I can--------------------------------

Hey you,

I'm not good with words... you probably know that... never was, probably never will be.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing. Things have been tough lately...

I guess maybe one day if we- I mean, if you ever settle down, with some cute guy or girl... maybe have a kid or adopt- or something, this is nice to look at. So- I'll try to be honest, but not depressing or anything-

Not sure if you'll still know him by then... but there's this kid, Eden. Well not a kid, he's 20, and he's an ass, right? Right... yet I care for him. A lot more than I ever thought I would... It's scary sometimes. The dumb shit I'd do for him in a heartbeat, without even thinking it through.

He has a way of breaking down all the defences I so painfully built up over the years... and the worst part of it... or maybe the best... is he doesn't even realise how much he means to me.

Hopefully, we're still in touch later on... are we? I'd hate to ever lose him.

Who knows maybe I'll put a ring on it. Well, I guess you know...

People always told me, it will get better with time. And, part of it has. But time doesn't fix everything. At least, not yet... Did we learn? To... move on?

I hope you found it in yourself to forgive Millie when I couldn't. Maybe even make up with Pollie... finally have the maturity to visit mom and dad... be the aunt Suki deserved, the friend Haru needed, the friend I needed...

I'm not going to make it longer than it needs to be... I just hope you're doing well. I hope I brought you someplace good, I hope you look back at me, and you're proud of who I was. Of who you were...

So my final question is...

...Are you happy?

Are we happy?

-Jace

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For today's challenge I had to write a character's letter to their future selves. I ended up doing both soooooooooooooo ;-; 

I'm tired rn, which is why it sucks- but like- ;-;