The Beanie

Chapter 13

I froze and instantly regretted entering the room when I did. LOVE?! My jaw was probably on the floor and my eyes as wide as headlights. He was joking, right?! Before Ash opened his mouth to speak, I cleared my throat which caught their attention. And I mean, definitely caught their attention. Alex was fucking redder then a tomato and his whole body physically stiffened before my eyes, I could see everything suddenly freeze. Ash kinda looked just how I did but also red and they were both staring right, at, me...

"I-its not what it s-sounds like Rave..!" Ash spluttered out. I couldn't move, my stomach was in one massive knot, my mouth and throat were dry and I couldn't do anything, not even think! "I, ah, um, I'm yeah" was all I managed to let out as I full on sprinted to my room. Once I reached the door, I immediately closed it behind me and locking it while not even turning the lines on before diving I to my bed.

What. Just. Happened.

My mind was drowning in thousands of thoughts. I couldn't keep up with a single one. Alex Jordann Sykes loved me?! What?! No no no no!! He hates me, he always has! He barely even spoke to me, sure he knows almost everything about me but DUH he practically lives here! Especially since he was my brothers best flippin friend since they could remember! Maybe, maybe they were just lying, being idiots ya know the usual? Yeah. Yeah, that's it it was just like a prank or something. But if it was a prank then why would he say it when I wasn't there? Why is there this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach? A sensation making me feel nervous and, joyful..? What is this?

So many questions and too little answers... I want to know so much but there's no one with the answers..? That was, until I heard the quietist most gentle knock on my door...

Frozen in place, I didn't answer. But the knock happened again just as gentle. Still no answer from me, a minute after the knock a shaky breath was released from whoever was on the other side of my door... "Raven..." My breath hitched, and my heart pounded against my chest rapidly.

"I-I, ah... I'm sorry..." I still didn't move from my place on the bed. I only just realised that the lights weren't on, I was in too big of a rush to even remember to turn them on. I silently sank into the mattress pulling the bulky blanket over me to shield myself from the cold as I just, listened to his voice speak like it were a lullaby.

"I understand why this is so, messed up. Alright, I fucked up. I did, I'm sorry... But for those 4 years, I liked you, like really liked you... Being your brothers best friend though, and the endless possibilities of you turning me down... I was beyond afraid Raven... I still am, and I'm now 17. I was going to ask you out that day when we were still young and we were at the park. Do you remember that..? I do, I remember that day so well... At the park down town, I ran around chasing you because you stole my beanie which you still have now... That's why it's my favourite..." I clutched the beanie he was referring to tightly, since it was beside my pillow already. Staring at it with no expression on my face. "When I finally reached you, I wrapped my arms around your waist from behind. You thought it was only to stop you from getting away, truth was, it was because I only ever wanted to hold you close... I realised then and there that I would never get over that small crush, I knew the day would come when it wasn't just a crush anymore... It'd be love..." I heard Alex smiling through the story of us when I was 13 and he was 14. But them the smile disappeared when he mentioned 'love'... I heard him gulp.

"What I'm getting at is, I knew you'd never feel the same. I worked the courage up to ask you April 1st 2013 but before I could I saw you and, Max... That was the day he asked you before I ever got the chance... Since that day I tried to stay as far as possible away from you and ignore you whenever I saw you. Unless I had to talk to you, I'm just so sorry for calling you everything I did and being the worlds biggest idiot. I don't expect you to ever look at me ever again and most definitely not to forgive me but, I just wanted to say that I'm truly sorry and that I... I love you..." By now I could hear him starting to choke up on everything as it rolled off his tongue, small sobs were obviously trying to be disguised.

I too found my eyes stinging as no more then one tear fell, how could I be so stupid and blind! But it wasn't all my fault an especially not all my guilt..! So many emotions, too many feelings that I couldn't handle. Except, never in my whole life would I of expected to do what I did next...

I ripped my blankets off my body and stormed up to my door. Yanked the handle until it flung open, revealing a bright eyed and messy haired Alex. His watery eyes snapped up to my appearance which was standing just where the light faded into my room. Without thinking, I gripped the collar of his shirt with both hands. Alex was in shock as if I were going to smash him through the walls. But instead met with something completely unexpected...

My lips on his...

I crashed my lips against his forcefully, leaving no time for a protest or second thought. It felt so incredibly wrong but so incredibly right... I pulled away to take in his reaction. Alex was still completely frozen in place like a statue. That was until I noticed him blink revealing his glassy blue eyes which were much lighter then usual. My hands were still grasped tightly on his collar, just as I was about to release him and leave thinking that was a HORRIBLE idea. Alex cupped my cheek with one hand, which was trembling and his other hand found it's place on the back of my neck. Doing that all faster then a lightning bolt. Now it was my turn to become shocked as he took charge and kissed me roughly. Once I registered what was happening I found myself kissing him back.

It was as if all of Alex's emotions were spilling out into this one kiss and I was just taking it all in. It was sweet and full of passion, honestly I never expected any kiss to be ANYTHING like this. Our lips moving in sync, moulding into each others just, perfectly whilst my arms found their place around his neck. It's as if Alex didn't even care about breathing whilst kissing me because he was focused on so much that breathing didn't even occur to him. As I was just about to break away, I felt something cold and salty that had found it's way onto his pink lips. Which made me pull away slowly and carefully.

It was one of few crystal clear tears that were slowly beading down his cheeks. I rested my forehead against Alex's as we both breathed heavily staring straight into the others eyes. Loosely, I slid my arms away from behind his head letting one fall to my side as the other places my hand upon his face. I ran my thumb under his eyes, wiping away the oncoming tears. I then whispered just audible, "why are you crying..?" His bottom lip quivered slightly until he bit it to stop it. "Alex..?" I asked just as quietly searching his face for any expression or answer at all... Nothing...

"I don't know..." As he spoke his voice trembled slightly and averted his eyes away from me, also dropping his arms to his side. Alex's back was slouched, avoiding my eyes and looking down so his black hair acted as if they were think curtains in front of his face. "You didn't mean to do that, I know it... I dont know why you even opened the door but I know that kiss meant nothing to you... I-I should go, I'm so sorry..." Barely choking out those words, and hurrying away until I heard the front door close.

"Alex..." I whispered, my eyes welling up with new tears for a reason I didn't know of... What did I do, I made it worse..! I played with his emotions, NO ONE should EVER do that! What is wrong with me?!

what did I do..?

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Ooooohhhhh drama lama! THEY FINALLY KISSED! But will it be their only..? What's going to happen to Alex and Raven? Is Aven or Ralex going to be a thing?

Comment, vote, share etc...

~Hanna