𝗺𝗰𝘆𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁𝘀 [𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁,𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳,𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁]

drowning [dreamnapfound] 🖤/💛

dreamnapfound: dream, george, and sapnap

-polyamors type beat ah

tw: depressive episode

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pov: sapnap

i have laid in bed for days, able to move from my misery. the fact that i'm so deep in hurts me. that my mind no longer wants me to be happy.

do i not deserve happiness? why am i my own demise? i don't want to die. i want the pain to stop.

my boyfriends knew i had depressive episodes. they were just harder to hide now that we all lived together.

i didn't dare to ask for help. why would i burden them and drag them down with me? what was the point of depression?

i heard a soft knock on my bedroom door. even though we all slept in the same room, we had separate rooms for streaming. i been staying in mine. i didn't want them to see me like this.

"hey my love, it's us. may we come in?"

george's sweet voice rang through the door. so soft and delicate like it could break.

"no" was all i could say as i drowned myself in more blankets. i couldn't face them yet.

"bubs, were worried, were going to come in okay" dream said just as soft as the other.

there voices almost made me cry. all they wanted to do was help.

i heard the door creek open as the light from the hallway spilled in.

"oh sapnap" dream said with sorrow as he walked over to the bed and sat on the end. george not too far behind him.

george sat in my gaming chair a rolled it over so he was next to the bed. he ran his fingers through my hair softly, "what's wrong my love?"

i slowly lowered the blanket to reveal my tear stained face, "i- i don't know". tears flooded my eyes quickly.

dream quickly pulled me up and placed me on his lap to let me cry into his chest. i did exactly that as he drew little shapes on my back.

the two let me cry for a couple moments, "bubs we love you so much. do you know that?" dream spoke like honey laced his voice as he placed a short kiss on my hair.

"i- i- know you guys do. i don't know what's wrong with me. i want to be happy i do. but i can't. and it's killing me inside" i cried harder.

"my love, it's okay, it's okay to be depressed. we just want to try to help you get better okay. we love you so much and hate to see you so low" george cooed.

"why don't you go back on your antidepressant bubs? i know you don't like them but they could help you" dream said.

i had calmed down enough to speak, "because when i'm on them, i can't show affection to you guys and it makes it seem like i don't love you anymore"

"i know, but it's okay. george and i understand. we won't be mad at you okay. but you've been in bed for a couple of days now. do you want to watch a movie with us downstairs?" dream pulled away a little so i could see his smile.

"yeah and we can order your favorite food! how about that?" george exclaimed.

"chick-fil-a?" i questioned giggling a little.

"of course, chick-fil-a!" dream laughed, "but first, how about you shower okay bubs? and you can wear of my hoodies okay?"

i nodded slowly, giving dream a quick kiss before hopping off his lap and giving george one too as he giggled.

god i was so in love with them.

[timeskip: 30 minutes]

after my shower i felt a little better. i still felt like i wanted to die inside but the feelings were suppressed by love. (ew cringe)

george had already picked an outfit out for me that was warm meaning he put it in the dryer, he knew me so well.

i slipped on my clothes and headed downstairs when i was greeted with my boyfriends sitting on the couch with a bunch of chick-fil-a on the coffee table and my favorite movie on pause.

"come join us" george siad with grabby hands.

i giggled as i sat in the middle of them, "did you guys make sure to get-" i was cut off.

"your chick-fil-a sauce? of course" dream said as he started the movie wrapping his arm around me while george leaned into my side.

half way through the movie after we had finished eating george had already fallen asleep, like he usually does.

"do you think he's ever doing to get through a full movie?" dream whispered with a smile.

i laughed as i laid my head onto dream's lap.

he ran his fingers through my freshly cleaned hair, "you know i'm extremely proud of you sap"

i hid my face in my hands, "why? i can barely do basic things"

"you got out of bed and showered. you even ate! i know how hard that is for you. i will always be proud of you" he leaned down and placed a quick kiss on my lips.

"i love you" i whispered.

"i love you too, now sleep, its late. i'll carry you guys up to bed later" dream turned the tv down a little as i got comfortable.

depression hurts you in the worst way possible and you might think it's better to handle by yourself, but having people there to love and support you, always helps.

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[wc: 952]
not me projecting my problems to sapnap-
also lol random fact time: i have a bunk bed
much love to you all <3