𝗺𝗰𝘆𝘁 𝗼𝗻𝗲𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁𝘀 [𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘁,𝗳𝗹𝘂𝗳𝗳,𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁]

i never got to tell him [dnf] 🖤

yes another dnf; cry about it

tw: suicide, depression, mentions of sh, drug use

pov: george

you know, i honestly think it's amusing.

to hear the lies of 'everything will get better' and 'you'll be okay' or even 'this phase in your life will be over quickly'

yeah because, this is just a faze right?

cutting my thighs just to watch the blood trickle down from is just a faze?

the pills in my little plastic bag i keep on me at all times; for safety, is just a faze?

a lot of people know how to cope with sadness, but the way i'm doing it is just perfect.

because you push away everything, all your problems, all you friends, your responsibility's, your whole life.

nothing matters anymore. you don't care about anything.

nothing matters, nothing can help you.

you numb.

i'm okay

i'm not sad

look, i posted a new youtube video

can sad people do that?

dream says i need help and that i'm depressed. but i just don't believe him. i mean sure, the cuts, but that was just letting off some steam. and sure, yes, maybe i always carry exactly 14 sleeping pills; just because that's my perfect amount to get high off of, but that's just me calming down.

i'm okay.

suck it up! stop crying!

i tell myself that nothing matters, so nothing does. dream said 'well you have to care about something?'

yeah, him.

dream has to be one of the only reasons i haven't left yet.

he's the only thing that's outweighing the bad right now.

dream has decided to come to england to spend time with me and to 'help me' and that me not caring about anything isn't good. that i need to have goals and aspirations. that i need friends and family. that i can't give up yet.

what's the point of goals if i know for a fact that i'm going to die soon?

what's the point of friends and family if all i'm going to do is hurt them anyways?

why can't i just give up yet?

what's stopping me?

dream will be here in two days, i'll just wait till after.

to finally leave.

pov: 3rd person

dream had decided to go see george because of his current condition. the brunette would constantly say that 'he's fine' but dream isn't buying it anymore.

he's on the way to george's place in an uber, since george didn't have his drivers license.

he was excited and happy to see george. he wanted the other to at least care about his life a little. he knew george was suicidal just from the way he talked and threw his jokes around.

like one time, when george was reading donos, one said, 'litterally kill you self' and he replied, 'honestly i was already thinking about that just need a day when i'm not busy' and he laughed it off.

but he sounded wayyy to serious for dream and they had a conversation on why you can't say things like that and again george just brushed it off on how it was 'jokes'

the uber pulled into the driveway of george's apartment complex and dream got out and pulled his suit case out the car after thanking the driver.

dream was thinking that since they were in person together, that it would be the perfect time for him to admit his true feelings for the brit. that he's liked him for a while now and wants to be more than just friends.

george has seen dreams face before, not in person but they do facetime a lot.

after taking the elevator to george's floor he got to his door and knocked with his anticipation rising by the second.

the was not response so dream just knocked again.

there was no response still so he just thought george was sleeping so he gave him a call and it went straight to voicemail.

dream decided to just try open the door which was unsurprisingly unlocked due to george's carefree self.

"...george" dream called out quietly as he walked into the dirty apartment. the apartment itself was nice just needed some cleaning. there were bags of food everywhere, water bottles, a highly impressive mound of dirty clothes and the trash obviously hadn't been taken out in a while. dream decided he would definitely be cleaning up george's house later.

george had never left the house so there was no doubt that he wasn't here. probably just a heavy sleeper.

dream walked around calling george's name out a few times when he saw that the bathroom light was on. he knocked and there was no answer so he opened it slowly.

and that's when he saw it.

it was george.

his lifeless body.

laying on the cold tile bathroom floor.

with a bottle of pills by his side.

"GEORGE!" dream now screamed as he ran to the other kneeling down to check for a pulse.

nothing.

"shit shit shit! dammit george!" tears ran down dreams face fast as he picked george up and hugged his lifeless body.

"i- never got to tell you-" dream sobbed into george's shirt.

-

"i never got to tell him" dream now said as he cried into sapnaps shirt as he sat on the others couch in texas.

"i never got to tell him" dream repeated.

"tell him what dream?" sapnap whispered. dream has been saying that one line ever since the day he saw george's body. that was one year ago. nobody had yet to know what it meant.

dream looked up at sapnap with teary eyes,

"that i loved him"

___________

-not me projecting onto george🙈

-anyways enjoy you sad shit you broken children /hj

-much love-

angelina🌸