Little Dark One

27 - dark angel

Tommy 

I felt her go rigid in my arms as I spilled one of my darkest secrets without a filter. Her reaction wasn't what I'd expected... It wasn't like her. She didn't say a word about it, I wasn't sure if she was even breathing. I desperately ached to know what she was thinking, but I was too afraid to ask. Yeah, gun fights and torture chambers didn't phase me, but the inner thoughts of a beautiful woman had me losing it. 

I could practically read anyone's thoughts by watching their eyes, expressions and movements, but she was so much more complex and she has no idea. I can tell she has so many secrets wrapped up in her intricate mind, and I intended to unravel each one, whether she wanted me to or not.

Finally, after the longest stretch of silence I'd ever suffered through her small voice broke through and I released the tension in my shoulders. 

"You came back every morning?" She whispered, finally breaking the longest stretch of silence I've ever had to endure. I relaxed the tension in my body with an exhale of the breath I was holding in anticipation. 

"Some part of me hoped I would see her again, and I did. I sat on this platform smoking a cigarette and watching over her as the sun rose and illuminated her, day after day. She was my dark angel and I owed her my life, so in return I vowed to be her guardian. One she never even knew she had." I tightened my arms around her as we stared out over the glittering ocean.

"What do you mean her guardian?" She asked softly, completely immersed in the stories of my memories. 

"Santa Monica beach at that time of early morning is no place for a young woman alone. Fear of someone potentially hurting her kept drawing me back, until one day she stopped showing up." I couldn't believe I was telling her all this, her touch was like a poisonous truth serum and I couldn't stop it from spreading. "She was fighting a dark battle just as I was, I could see it in the way she moved when she thought no one was watching. To this day, I wish I knew what was going on in her broken mind." I exhaled, lost in my painful memories. "I'll never know." 

She turned slowly in my hold and locked her ice blue eyes with mine. She reached her delicate arms up and wrapped them around my neck, I grasped her hips and held her closer with no intention of letting go. There was deep pain reflecting in her eyes and I could tell she was trying to hide it. 

"What are you thinking?" The words slipped out before I could stop them. I have no damn filter around her and its infuriating. 

"Nothing." She shook her head and broke our eye contact, avoiding my gaze. More secrets.

"Tell me." I demanded, grasping her jaw gently and pulling her eyes back to mine. 

"I don't know what to say Tommy, it hurts to hear you go through something like that." Her words were sincere, but I didn't miss the expert deflection. 

Before I could push her to reveal her inner thoughts more than I already had, she pushed up on her toes and pulled my lips down to hers. She moved her plush lips against mine so softly, caressing my mouth with hers. I could feel the intoxication building within me as we pushed closer together. I couldn't stop my hungry lips from deepening the kiss. I've never felt so connected to someone in my life, except for my dark angel, but I never even saw her face up close. She moaned softly into my mouth and it sent me over the edge of reason. I reached down and grasped her thighs in my hands, lifting her so she was sitting on the thin railing with her legs wrapped around my waist. 

"Tommy!" She gasped and tightened her hold on my neck tenfold, breaking our swollen lips and glancing over her shoulder at the dangerous height I was holding her over. "This is insane."

"You have to trust me, Keira." 

"I'm afraid I'll fall." She breathed, searching my eyes. 

"I would never let you fall..." My tone was final and the reflection in her crystal orbs made me realize this conversation wasn't even about the height. We were getting metaphorical. 

She was just as scared of our connection as I was, and neither of us knew how to cope with it. 

I slammed my lips back to hers as she clung to me, leaving her life in my hands. I leaned into her, pushing her farther over the railing. I was drunk on the power and craving this adrenaline inducing control. 

She broke our kiss and dug her face into my shoulder, grasping me so tight like her life depended on it. I guess it did. I could feel her beginning to shake in my hold, but I couldn't stop yet. I needed this, I was too vulnerable with her and her secrets nearly drove me to insanity. The fucked up side of me was feeding off of her fear. 

"You're scaring me Tommy!" Her shriek was muffled by my jacket as I reclined her back so far over the edge, we were almost horizontal. One slip and we would both plummet to our death. "TOMMY!"

The unfiltered terror in her voice snapped me back to reality. I pulled her back over the edge and she slipped out of my arms. She dropped to the ground on her hands and knees, heaving in deep breaths. 

"Keira–" I reached out to her but she scrambled back out of my reach. 

"No, don't you dare touch me!" Her voice quivered and tears broke from her eyes, streaming down her pale face. "That was so fucked up, Tommy." 

I don't know what came over me, I didn't mean to hurt her like this. Guilt rippled through me as I stared down at her. "I know. I'm so–" 

She turned and scrambled down the stairs before I could apologize. She's probably the only person I've ever uttered those words to and she wouldn't even hear them. The farther she got from me, the more I realize how much I fucked up. I really fucked up. I just erased the monumental steps forward we had just taken this morning, and it was tearing me up inside.

Fuck you and your self sabotage, Knox.