Little Dark One

7 - guilt

Knox

I couldn't control myself, I watched her on the CCTV for hours every day. Secretly of course. As far as my men knew, I despised her. I had to remind myself that I should, considering the liability she was to me and my organization, but something about her fractured my fierce resolve.

I watched her cry for hours, stare blankly at the wall, refuse food and ignore Blaze completely. She looked broken, and suddenly I felt like I could relate to her. I have been broken since I was a child. That's what made me the vicious man my reputation depicted, the notorious feared leader of the Revenants.

My pathetic spying was interrupted without warning by Blaze entering the security room. Screens covered three of the four walls, with live footage of my entire property. I clicked off Keira's room feed and swiveled my chair to face my right hand man.

"We gotta do something with this girl. She's losin' it man." he took the seat next to me, clicking back on her feed and gesturing to her curled up in a ball in the farthest corner of the room. She faced away from the camera, blocking my view of her angelic face.

"I know." I snapped.

"She hasn't eaten in over three days. You won't need to kill her, she'll do it herself." he said, a hint of judgement in his tone.

"So make her eat!" I exclaimed, jumping up from my chair.

"I can't just make her. What do you want me to do, tie her up and force feed her?" Blaze rose from his chair and faced me, making a firm point "I draw the line at abusing innocent women, T"

I shot him a fierce side eye. No one called me T anymore, the only one who could get away with it was Blaze. I was either boss or Knox. Like my father and grandfather before me. I grew up with Blaze, his father was my father's right hand man, and now he's mine. He is the only one I truly trust, but he was still technically a hired hand.

"She's a rat Blaze, not an innocent woman."

"I don't think she is. She's too emotional to be a trained agent. Be honest, she doesn't act like one. If that's the only reason you're keeping her like a criminal then you better figure it out soon or I'm letting her out myself." he wrapped his huge arms over his chest, resolved.

I stepped up to him, holding my deadly eyes to his, "You will do whatever the fuck I tell you to." I hissed.

He visibly backed down, checking himself.

"Set up a meeting with Phantom. But be careful, after her showing up here I'm beginning to doubt his loyalty." I ordered, "Let me know as soon as you have information, I'll handle Keira."

Blaze smirked at me "Oh, now you know her name?" he teased. Up until now I'd only called her "girl".

"Shut up and get out" I barked. He made his exit without another word, off to do my bidding.

I settled back in my chair and pulled up Keira's camera, but what I saw this time had me flying through my expansive mansion like it was on fire.

I burst into her room seconds after she kicked the chair out from under her feet. Her limbs were dangling and her eyes drooped as the life slowly drained from her body. In the time that Blaze and I were distracted, she had fastened her bedsheet into a rope and hung it from the chandelier.

I wrapped my arms around her, securing her limp body and unwrapping the sheet from her neck. Her beautiful neck that was already bruised by another man's hands. I dropped to my knees and shook her, her crystal eyes focused on me and she started crying violently. I could feel her breaking in my arms as sobs shook her entire body.

"Why" she shuddered, over and over through her sobs.

I didn't know the first thing about taking care of a woman, I was very careful about the women I fucked occasionally, none of them ever lasted more than one night, and they never knew who I really was. But she wasn't one of those women. She was completely shattering right here in my arms and it was because of me.

I knew I had to do something, but I did nothing but hold her and let her soak my leather jacket in tears until she had none left. Her rapid, frantic breathing slowed to steady exhales. I gazed down at her red, puffy face. Admiring her beauty even when she was broken. I wondered how beautiful she must look when she's happy. Or satisfied... stop Tommy, now is not the time, or place. I shook off the images flooding my mind and gathered her up as I rose to my feet.

She was so deep in sleep now I could take her anywhere and I doubt she'd wake up at this point, so I decided to take her to my room. I couldn't leave her alone in this glorified prison cell I'd damned her to.

I knew now that I was wrong, she couldn't be a spy for the FBI, they were trained to withstand the toughest conditions. It was rare someone lived after coming face to face with me, knowing who I was. She would have expected this kind of treatment, if not worse, if she was who I had believed she was.

A foreign feeling consumed me, so unnatural at first I wasn't even sure what it was. But as I moved strands of her butterscotch hair off her face I knew what it was that I felt. Guilt. I had done this to her.

It was past 3am, most of my men were out, or asleep. I made it through the halls and up the long spiral staircase to my room without running into anyone. I exhaled in relief, this was not a good look for me. I had a reputation to protect.

I lowered her into my bed and began to pull away, but her grip tightened in her sleep. I was worried I'd wake her and have to explain why she was in my bed, so I settled in next to her for a while and pulled the thick blanket over her shivering body. I sat with my back against my headboard and Keira curled up against my side, a small arm wrapped around my waist. She hadn't moved in a couple hours and dawn was beginning to trickle through the window. I had to leave before she woke up.