Scared to love

Forever broken.

He started walking closer and I started crying and screaming louder. All the sudden I started shaking. "Shane wake up wake up it's just a dream." Sam said. Wait am I asleep. All the sudden Sam and this abandon building faded away to blackness and I opened my eyes. It was just a dream a horrible horrible nightmare. My dad was holding me tight and it felt good to know that my parents care. "Shane I'm so sorry this happened to you and I'm going to find Sam and end him." He said as his grip slightly tightened on me. "I-I d-don't want to do this anymore." I stuttered. "Do what honey." He said concerned. "Live I'm worthless now he ruined me." I said. "No honey you can overcome this or you can at least try and we will be there for you every step of the way." He said reassuringly. "Thank you dad." I said feeling a little better.

...

It's been a week and 6 days since Sam forced him self on me for the second time. The second time was also the first time I was actually aware of what was happening and I can remember every detail of it. I didn't go to school for a few days but I went back on Thursday and it was harder than I thought, harry kept asking why I wasn't at school and I just ignored him or told him I was sick. I was quieter than normal so harry asked what was wrong. I lied and said I still felt sick. The truth was that almost everything triggered the memory of what happened that horrible Sunday night. I see a football player and I think of how strong Sam was compared to me. I see a door handle and think of how I could of ran faster. I see someone taking a nap and think of how Sam knocked me out and I should have never woken up I should have just died. Maybe I should have just died I wish I did. No what am I saying I finally have a family who loves me and wants me here on earth, alive and with them.

I told Leslie and sierra about the first time he raped me and about how he hit me sometimes. It was really hard and involved a lot of crying. They said as soon as they see him there going to kick his ass for me but since he seems to have disappeared they can't. That's right Sam was erased from school records my father has been trying to find him anyway possible but he doesn't show up anywhere it's like he's been erased from my life. It's good and bad because I will hopefully never have to see him again but I will also never get the justice I deserve.

...

It's currently Saturday morning and I have no desire to get out of bed. It's not like I have anything to do but it's 6 o'clock and I can't go back to sleep because of these stupid cramps. Sometimes I get cramps right before my period but they are never this bad it just means my period will probably start tomorrow which would be right on time. Ugh okay stop talking about that. I guess I'll just go watch some some tv for awhile.

Now it was 8 o'clock and my parents are awake. I hear some one coming downstairs and than sure enough my dad walks into the room. "Hey honey I'm really really sorry but your mother's sister is in the hospital and we have to leave as soon as possible I don't know when we will be getting back so you have to stay here. Okay." He says. "Um yeah okay." I said. "Um I think maybe you should have some one come over to keep you company." He said a bit unsure of my reaction. He thinks I'll be mad because he thinks I might kill myself or something. He has a point though because when I'm alone I start thinking about "it" and then I feel horrible about myself. "Yeah okay dad I'll call Leslie." I say as it pull out my phone. "Okay I'm going to go pack tell me who's coming over before we leave." He says walking back down the hall. "Okay" I say as a click the green call button.

Ring ring ring
"Hello" Leslie says
"Hey Leslie wanna come over." I say. "Erm I actually can't I'm on that family camping trip I told you about." She says sounding not pleased at all. "Dang okay we'll try to have fun." I say. "Not likely bye babe." She says and the line goes dead just before I can say bye. I guess I'll call Sierra.

...

"Sierra has the flu and Leslie can't come because of her camping trip and the only other friend I have is harry." I say to my dad. I can't invite him he asks to many questions and he reads me so well. If I make one mistake he will know I'm hiding something and I'll have to tell him. "I think you should invite him he looked like a good guy to me and he obviously cares about you from the way he reacted to me telling him sam hit you." He says like i should already know. I guess I could just give it a shot.

Ring ring ring
"Shane." He says obviously confused. "Um hi harry." I say. "Erm not to be rude but why are you calling me you barely ever talk to me anymore at school." He says making my heart hurt at how sad he sounds. I didn't want to shut him out but I needed to, he could be like Sam. but Sam didn't basically get approved/invited over by your dad. ugh I guess so. "I'm really sorry about that, some really bad things have happened to me recently and I just needed some space and I wasn't really comfortable talking about them but I promise if you come over I'll tell you whatever you want to know." I say instantly regretting it. I could never tell him everything ugh I'm so stupid. "Okay I'll be there in 15 minutes." He says jumping at my offer. "Okay bye."

...

I shouldn't have said that now harry is going to know the truth and he's not going to like me anymore. He's going to think I'm just some stupid girl who was too weak and too stupid to fight for herself.

My parents are now packed and have got everything they need in the car. I tried to help put their bags in the car but I'm not the strongest person so it took some time. "So is harry coming over?" My mom asked. "Yeah but I'm going to have to tell him everything now." I said. "Honey your father told me the way that boy acted when your father couldn't keep his mouth shut and said tat Sam hit you. He got all mad and worked up about it and that shows me that he cares about you. If someone cares that much about you you shouldn't push them away."she said before putting in her coat. "Okay we're all ready to go call me when harry gets here okay sweetie I love you bye." My dad says while hugging me and then walking out to the car. "I know it's going to be hard to tell him everything honey but he's not like Sam because Sam never cared if he did he won't have down what he did." She says pulling me in for a quick hug. "Have fun I love you." She says walking out the door. "Bye mom love you too." I said shutting and locking the door. Maybe I can do this.

A few minutes later there is a knock on my door. This time I check the little peephole thing to make sure it's harry. I take a deep breath and open the door. As soon as it's open I take in his appearance he's wearing black skinny jeans and a white T-shirt. As soon as my eyes leave his apparel they are locked with his beautiful green eyes. "Um come on in." I say breaking the eye contact and leading him inside. "Thanks for letting me come and for agreeing to tell me everything it means a lot to me."he says sating his bag down. "Your welcome." I say pulling out my phone. "Um do you mind I have to call my dad and tell him your here." "Wait it was his idea for me to come here." He says obviously surprised. "Um yeah he uh didn't want me to be alone." I say looking down in shame. "That's okay I'm glad he likes me." He says. Before I could respond my phone starts ringing Dad flashing across the screen. "Hey dad." I say. "Hey sweetie is harry there yet." He says sounding worried. "Yeah I was just about to call you he literally just walked through the door." I say looking at harry. "Okay we'll do you mind if I talk to him for a second. Why would he want to talk to harry. "Um I guess you can." I say before handing my phone to harry. "He wants to talk to you." I tell harry. "Um okay." He says before putting the phone to his ear.

"Hello sit this is harry." Why does he sound so nervous they've meant before. "That's right." I really don't like this what are they talking about. "No I would never do that nor would I ever want to." He says. "Okay bye." He says and hangs up. What was that about. "So you want to come sit down in the living room and talk or should we do that later." I say

***
Your going to have to wait aha because the next chapter is Harry's point of view oh snap.

I figured out how to add Gifs I'm proud haha

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