Scared to love

Stronger

Shane's POV

I woke up with sweat all over my body. It was all just a horrible horrible dream. "It's over okay it's just a dream." Harry said holding me close to him. My heart was Beating with no control (that's ironic) Harry's hand found its way to my chest feeling my heart beat. "That's what my heart beat is like every time you walk into the room." He says making my heart skip a beat. "And now I know I'm not the only one." He says referring to my heart beat increasing at the mention of his getting faster because of me.

...

We there for awhile more hearts beating a more normal pace now. Both just thinking. "Harry." "Hmm" "I don't want to be weak anymore." "We'll liam is coming over in the morning to train you so maybe that will make you feel stronger." "Hopefully."

...

"let's get started because your pregnant we won't work too hard but we need to get you to where you can fight back if you needed to." Liam says pulling out some gloves. "okay what are we doing." "well first your going to put these on." Liam says handing me the gloves. "and than I'm going to show you how to hit someone and where." I put on the gloves and watch as he pulls out a pair of gloves but with these pad things on the front of them. "Okay so I'm going to put my hand up and every time you see this pad part your going to hit as hard as you can." He says holding up his hand. "Um okay." I say hesitantly putting my hands into fists and puts my arms up. "Okay so put your hands like this." Liam says moving my hands in to fight position I guess it's called. "Alright that's good now put your legs like this." Liam says moving one of his legs behind the other. I repeat the motion keeping me hands in the correct place.

...

I felt so powerful, so fearless. It was weird everytime my fist made contact with the pads on his hand I imagined it being Sam. This was my way of learning to fight back Liam had told me. He said to imagine Sam was here and hit his hand like it was Sam's chest of face or where ever. I chose face. His perfect pretty boy face. His perfect football player image. I was crushing it. Or at least pretending to. Either way I felt good. I felt like I could fight my own battles.

...

After a break Liam decided it was time I learn how to shot a gun. I was a little nervous. Not because I thought I would do horrible, but because it's a gun and I could potentially kill/injure someone or myself with it. "Okay so just for a safety pro caution were using paintball guns." "Who's were." I said thinking I was the only one who needed training. "I want to shot one too." "Oh I didn't know I thought this was for training." "Jeez I teach you how to punch and now all the sudden you have some new found sassyness." Liam says jokingly."ha-ha very funny now teach me how to shot that thing." I say pointing to the paintball gun in his hands. "Okay okay."

...

Me and Liam had finished training and I was exhausted. on the bright side I know how to properly punch, block a hit, hold a gun, shot a gun, load a gun, and shot a real gun not just the paintball ball gun towards the end Liam decided he should show me the basics of a gun. I honestly felt pretty badass. like if I'm ever in a situation where i feel weak now I have this new found confidence that I can fight for myself. no more little weak helpless Shane. I felt like a new person. a person who wasn't afraid to fight her own battles and stand up for her self.

I go to the bathroom striping of my sweaty clothes and hop into a nice hot shower. I think about what to do with my new badass skills and confidence.

after pondering over it for a awhile I decide to use it to change myself for the better. to slowly change into a better stronger version of myself. not that I will really change in any way just that I will stop letting people make me feel weak. Harry was right I'm not weak I'm strong for sticking through everything I've been through with only I few scars on my arm. I think I will start calling them battle scars because there just prove that I was once going through a battle but there mostly faded and healed meaning the battle is over and I'm still standing.

I can be strong because i'm learning how to not be weak.

****** 

so i'm working on a trailer for this fanfic but it might be awhile its my first vio edit or anything video editing. I can do phot editing but I haven't done video before. its going well so far but if someone made me a trailer I would really appreciate it.

More about Sam in the next chapter. you might even get a clue on where he disappeared to.

I almost died today. I almost stepped on a copperhead snake.

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