My PaperShop Girl

2~ Never look in the direction of a guy

Y/N ~ Your Name
L/N ~ Last Name

TW-
This chapter contains some mentions of abuse, and drinking <3

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Love has never really played a thought in Jacobs life. He never had an opinion on a topic so in depth as love. No other person really has. From being obsessed, to brokenhearted, love can leave you in a place that no person would ever wish to be kept in. Love was always a big and dwelled on phenomenon. You always know when love has occurred, it happens instantly or overtime. Some say you feel a spark, others say you feel a connection, but no matter what the feeling you get, you know when you have fallen in love. Jacob's idea of love was a completely different idea than Y/N's. He found love with his fans, his band mates, his family and his music. Yet Y/N had none of that, she found love in reading a book, writing. Jacob took every day as it came. He never thought of the idea of 'live each day like it's your last'. No; the boy had too many things he wanted to accomplish. Never had a bucket-list to check things off of. As long as he was with his band mates and making people happy, he never cared which day would be his last, as he knew that each day, whether spending it in bed, or down in the studio, he knew deep down, that he was the reason for someone to be smiling. 

|| September 27th. 5:35pm

Dear diary,

I never know how to begin off these random diary entries, but here we are, 4 months; everyday in a row. Like always, i'm working in the shop, same old people, and i guess i'm ok with that. 

Today, i did meet a new boy, he was called Jacob, he seemed honestly so sweet, and when we spoke, i couldn't stop myself from smiling. He was honestly really cute. The way his brown hair framed his face, and how he spoke with a sort of high pitched, deepish voice, that gave me slight butterflies every time he strung together a sentence. 

I know i promised myself that after the last encounter, i'd never even look in the direction of a guy, but he felt different. He smiled when i laughed, and laughed at what i said, and even made me blush, which they failed to do whenever a word was spoke. I've managed a whole 5 months without thinking about him, when writing today, this will be the first time. 

Mom's not getting any better, all she does now is sit and stare out the window. After dad left, she's been a mess. I mean i can't blame her, i get loosing someone is hard, but i need her here for me. Even if it's a hug, or a quick 'i love you', but no. I get how it feels, i lost my dad, she lost her husband, but in the least selfish way, i need her to be here for me, not him.

Anyway, it's been a weird day, i'll write tomorrow, i promise

Forever and Always, Y/N 

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Her house stood quite proudly on a small hill. It was in the middle of no where if she was being honest. Surrounded by flowers, a small forest to the left, and a small cliff that looked over the man made beach, Y/N found that her mothers house described her charisma, and her personality more than any paragraph ever could.

The night grew darker quicker than it got lighter. What felt like 10 minutes of sun, turned out to be 8 hours. Like always, Y/N opened and closed the little shop, never saw the manager, no other shop employees. Although it wasn't in her name, the shop felt like hers.

Trudging her way slowly up the hill, Y/N took in the same trees and flowers she did every morning and every night. She longed for a little holiday away, she didn't care where. Whether it be to a different country, or to another small city, Y/N felt she deserved a small break away from her house and town. "hey mom" The young girl sounded as she placed down her small coat, and bag onto the hangers. 

Her hallway was small and narrow. Decorated with floral print, that looked like it belonged in the Victorian era, the hallway was the first thing you entered when you opened the door of the L/N house. Her house had the same smell of mandarins all over, as this was the only thing her mom ever ate. Y/N found it a blessing that she didn't have any friends, only because she would find it took weird to sit and explain why her mother never leaves the window side. After her father left, life for Y/N has been better, she had more time for herself rather than worrying, she could walk about the house wearing what she wanted. however; for her mom, life has gotten progressively worse, and Y/N hated seeing it.

Flashback
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The days lay always the same. Waking up and then arguments, after arguments, then to sleep. An endless cycle of torture. Both physically and mentally for the young girl. As life went on, Y/N's father turned to drinking. Everyone waking moment he spent with his lips around a cup, shot glass, bottle, you name it. And to keep his drunken state to his pleasure, he would take it out on his daughter, and his wife. 

There were nights Y/N lay in bed listening to the sound of fighting. Her mother would shout, her father would begin laying into the woman Y/N looked up to, and the screaming would start. Mother cried, he seethed, and Y/N pushed her face into the pillows to drown out the cries and the shattered glass noises that filled up all crooks and crannies of the house. She would think to herself every night, about ways to help her mother, how to get her father out of her life. How to banish his drunken state away from their peaceful, calmed lifestyle. Then there were the so called 'calmer' nights, which were the nights when Y/N left the house. The garden was most peaceful at night, and Y/N took it upon herself to set up a small hut in the bottom, under a tree and spend the night there. Those nights were the best, no matter if it was raining, or a clear night, the sound of crickets, owls any sort of creature that made a noise really, was enough to quieten any person into a tranquil sleep state.

 She longed for the day that it would go back to how it originally began. Longed for the day her mother would be banished from the violence, Y/N hoped she could find the key to unlock the handcuffs, stopping her from reaching safety, and contemptuousness. And after years of torture, years of the endless cycle, the father had given up. He had decided he was no more, that he had done all visible damage known to man kind, and that he was going to leave. And that day was Y/N's best day.

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"I met a guy today, he was called Jacob, honestly he was cute and so nice, we got speaking for a bit and i think we're gonna be good friends" The petite girl began. Everyday when returning home from work, Y/N began to tell her mother about her days at work. Her mom never replied, only sat and continued to look out the window. Hoping for her husband to return home one day, but thankfully he never did. "He's in a band, well, so he tells me. He has brown hair and he's about my height. It's getting late mom, lets take you up to bed" And with that, she slowly lofted her mom up.

Compliant, the mother followed her daughters steps up the small amount of stairs the house had to offer. The whole house was near enough the same, the old Victorian wallpaper, and the same mandarin smell all throughout. Windows slightly tinted with dust, and a few cobwebs upon the corners of the ceilings. Each door had a lock, and each bedroom has a small bathroom. Like always, Y/N changed her mother, showered her, and then slowly began to read to her.

Hours passed and a book later, Y/N had finally managed to get her mother off into a small sleep, whether that would last all night, or a few hours, no one knows. 

The feeling of a hot shower after work was always the best feeling for Y/N as she felt like all her problems, stresses washed down the drain whenever her pale, skinny legs stepped foot into the shower. This was always her favourite part of the day, spending an hour in the shower, and planning what to do for the remainder of the night. And as every night came, she did the same thing, wonder about her future, but this time wonder about it with Jacob in.

 She just hoped he felt the feeling she did. 

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A/N: Hey bestiesss <33

I hope everyone is enjoying life. I was surprised to even continue finishing off these chapters as ive had a bad day today. Anyway, yeah hope you're enjoying it so far. DW the lads will be introduced soon enough <33

W/C: 1544