My PaperShop Girl

3 ~ her aythya shoulder length hair

Y/N ~ Your Name

TW ~ mentions of panic attack, and drinking

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Music is such a big part in peoples every day lives. From the lyrics, to the beat people find pleasure in listening to their favourite artists. Jacob began playing in a band from a very young age. Whether it was singing at the top of his lungs at 3, to strumming the chords on a plastic guitar at aged 4, Jacob always knew that music was his destiny. He enjoyed his lifestyle, from rehearsing songs in his bedroom, to playing on stage for his fans, he knew that as long as he wrote and produced, his fans would be happy and thankful. When people begin to describe what they enjoy, the word passion is what they commonly say. Passions take years to come up with the one thing that makes you the happiest and helps you carry on. Some people call it Trail and Error; going through different hobbies to see which one you relate to. It's never something that comes naturally, it develops overtime. Some people give up after trying a few random things, they have the mindset of 'if it doesn't work don't try again'. But others, they sit and think about their emotions. Do they enjoy writing down how they feel? Do they find it fun to express themselves through paintbrushes and canvas'? Jacob enjoyed writing out his emotions through cords. And he lived by this, and knew that this was what he was going to do for the rest of his life.

"Hang on" Jacob stood in his tracks whilst him and his mate ,Tom, left the group to get a drink "you mean to tell me you were late the other day because you met a girl?" Tom said in disbelief. Jacob decided to tell someone about the Papershop girl he had stumbled across the other morning. He felt bad keeping in something like this to himself.

To be quite honest, he was nervous about what the lads were going to think. Wondered if they would want to meet her, which to be honest, they would just embarrass him if they ever did meet her. Jacob himself was nervous, he had only met this girl once and yet he got butterflies whenever he would think of her. But then again, he knew nothing of her. Other than the fact her aythya shoulder length hair cascaded from left to write with every step she took, Jacob knew nothing of his new admirer.

The days were similar for Jacob. He left his house, meet his band mates, film some stuff for heartbreak takeaway, and then he would go home to his room to watch Netflix, or anything else he could find. Every now and then his days would be more exciting, record a single, or thinking of merch and tours. But 8 time out of 10, it was normally the same.

"Oh come on we had to find out through Tom" A brown haired boy stated as the 4 friends had finally put down their drumsticks, or guitars. Jacob refrained from telling everyone for as long as he could, however the feeling of guilt was overruling him. He had no idea why he felt guilty for keeping this, it's not like anything was going on between them. However, he knew they'd be disappointed if something was to happen and they were to never know; so he allowed Tom to tell them during the last 10 mins of practice. "I know, but i don't even know her name" He stated rather flustered and embarrassed and all the remaining band members gave him a are-you-kidding-me? kind of look.

"Sorry you didn't even think to ask her for her name?" The washed-out sandy haired boy asked, stifling a small laugh, and very poorly attempting to cough to override it. When he came to think about it, he hadn't even asked her for her name, her age or anything in that manner. Did she tell him her name? Did he not hear her when she said anything about her? No surely not, he can't have been that stupid to not hear it. "no, i don't think i did" He began slowly. 

As Jacob began to describe the girl to his friends, he couldn't help but wonder if she felt anything like he did. The constant thought of 'would she like me?' and 'Would i be good enough for her?' were prominent in the front of his mind. Jacob never really wanted to think about the feeling of love, he gets worried in case he finds someone who doesn't like what he does. Or he finds a girl who doesn't like big crowds, who wouldn't come to their gigs to support him. He thinks about this every now and then when he is alone in his room about to sleep. He'd be lying if he said that he has  never imagined what it would be like to cuddle up next to a girl in his room.

 Hearing about Jake and his relationship, Jacob always wondered if being single was his best hope. Jake was happy, everyone has seen the change in his attitude. He was more chirpy of a morning, and put double the amount of effort he normally does in each session the band spends together. The fans were supportive of the relationship, which sometimes you find hard to believe. Jacob wondered if his Papershop girl might be the one for him.

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//September 29th. 7:18pm

Dear diary,

I have been working in the shop a lot more than i have been planning on recently. I open the shop at the same time in the morning, however the boss has asked me to close the shop at 7 rather than 5. He never really gave me a reason, however, being the only worker there, i can't really say no. I wish i didn't have to do this, only i want to be with my mom a lot more, seen as it's coming up to the anniversary of his leaving. I never really call it an anniversary, more of a celebration if i'm being honest, but my mom insists that every year she lights a candle to symbol her loss.

As for the boy i met, he hasn't come back. It's been 2 days, and i wish i could see him again. I mean he did promise that he would come over again, yano, to play me a song; doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon. I do miss him, and his little cackle laugh, however, i can't really say much about my disappointment as we aren't even friends. 

I read a new book, well beginning to. It's about two people who have different lives, however it brings them closer together, even with all the challenges. It reminded me of my past, i had a small panic attack thinking about him. I can't help it, i was doing so well not to think about him, however it all came back. I mean it was bound to happen. I know i shouldn't, however i decided to drink a bit because it helped with the pain. I didn't get drunk, no only enough to the point where it burnt a little, but then i stopped. Anyway, i can't promise i won't do it again. As much as my heart wants me to stop, i think it's misleading to promise something you haven't thought much upon. 

As for mom, I've been looking up on google for awhile now, finally found a place. however, the money, that's the biggest issue. It's going to be ok, only i work now, and i can always find ways to pay it back. Anyway, i have to go,

Forever and Always
Y/N x

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A/N:
I am so excited for the next few chapters. This was sort of a fill in chapter. I have no real upload schedule for this, so i'm sorry if i can't upload everyday. Anyway, thank you for nearly 200 reads <333

W/C: 1331