My PaperShop Girl

19~ "Fuck you" "Pay me"

Y/N~ Your Name
L/N~ Last Name

TW~ This chapter contains mentions of abuse, both physically and mentally, excessive drinking, and mentions of panic attacks. If you feel uncomfortable please don't feel as though you have to read this chapter x

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Have you ever been so in love with someone, so much so that you would believe that everything they did and do is perfect. Believe that they could do no wrong, believed every word that came out of their mouth, even though the proof it's all lies sits right on a text next to you. You worship the ground they walk on even though the ground you're actually walking on; the ground you're worshipping; is actually burning coal, except they just manipulate the ground to make it seem like you're walking on water; maybe even walking in a field full of all flowers you love. Every red flag turns green with all their unmeaningful "sorry's" that escaped their lips. They never meant their apologies, no in fact their sorry's were just their way of mocking you. It was an indication of their control over you; however, you didn't see it in the moment, because they painted this portrait of a God or Goddess into your mind, and so every warning you got off a friend, every red flag they gave you, every hit, every kick; every emotionally draining action they pursued actually seemed as though it was the right choice in the moment, is the action that was necessary in order for the one-sided relationship to continue on. The only way for you to know you are in this situation, is to escape it. After you get out, you wonder why you didn't leave at the first red flag; wonder why the first sign wasn't enough to make you say "I deserve better than this". But in reality,  you don't see it when you're in it, everyone else does, except you. 

And that's exactly how Y/N came about Jamie. He was the one for her, she believed he truly loved her. But that love can turn to lust, which turns to manipulation, turns to control so quickly that no one ever sees it coming. And that's what hurts to most. Not the abuse, not the toxic behaviour they give out; it's the feeling of betrayal that hurts. The fact it's the one person you trust, the one person you'd give your life for. However, Y/N sees this as a blessing in disguise, because she understands when to leave a situation before it gets too much, now she finally understands what it feels to be held in a way that shows compassion and trust. And that's all thanks to Jacob.

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"Jamie?" Y/N froze as the boy she once loved stood before her, not talking, not smiling, just staring. Almost like he was a shadow, maybe her imagination. 

"Miss me?" He smirked, inviting himself to walk further to her door
"Leave" The girl stated quietly, she couldn't raise her voice at him, not just yet. She couldn't let Kate know who was at the door, because for all Kate knew, it could be just some random man lost in the woods.

Closing the door behind her, Y/N had all her memories flash back to her within a few second

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Flashback

"I don't want to Jamie ok, it hurts too much." Y/N pleaded, as the young boy began to walk up to her. Tears streaming down her eyes, face red from the few amount of slaps that he been brought upon her face, Y/N was scared.

"I don't care, you went out again, i told you not to go out"
"They're my friends Jamie, i can't just not hang out with them. I'm sorry" The girl was cut off by a further slap on her cheek.

The mix of blood and metal lay on her lips. He doesn't mean this. He's just annoyed. She shouldn't of disobeyed him, she should of stayed home. 
"You deserve this you know?"
"I know" Y/N wept as she slowly brought her hand up to wipe away the blood that had been created on her fair skin.

Leave him. He's just like your father. Don't put yourself through it ok. You deserve better.

All those thoughts were overruled each time they popped up. All his words ran through her mind. "I deserve this" "It's my fault" "He doesn't mean this"