I was sat at the desk, looking over the plans for my last show.
My last show. Ever.
At the time it was around 2 in the morning and for the last 3 hours I've been contemplating one thing: am I making the right choice? Do I really wanna do this?
I sighed as I ran my hands over my face. It was in less than a month and I couldn't process how soon it was coming up.
I began thinking about all the memories I've made in the past 12 years. I've met so many amazing people doing what I do, and so many loving fans.
This has been my entire life I'm not sure I even know how to do anything else. I'd be leaving behind my entire life for a completely new and different one. There would be no more tour, no more meet and greets, no more shows. All of that was going to be gone in less than a month.
Apart of me couldn't believe it was actually happening while the other part was more than happy that it was.
The one thing I was going to miss was the shows. Seeing everyone's face in the crowds screaming along to lyrics I wrote in a little bedroom with my brother.
On the other hand; I would finally get to spend more time with my family. But I'd be leaving another family behind in the process.
The more I thought about it the more emotional I grew and before I knew it I was silently crying at the desk, though apparently not silent enough. I lifted my head up as I wiped my eyes.
"Ugh. God this is so stupid!" I yelled quietly. Blowing out a deep breath as I let my head fall into my hands.
"What's so stupid?" Aleah asked softly. I turned around to find her getting out of bed and walking towards me.
"Me." I scoffed.
"Honey, it's almost 2:30 in the morning, what are you doing?" She spoke quietly as to not wake the kids.
"I was just going over the plans for my last show, that's all."
"Okay..but why were you crying?" She asked, wiping away a stray tear on my cheek.
"It's stupid. Don't worry about it."
"Your feelings are never stupid love, what's going on?" She took her place on my lap, gently stoking the side of my head before tucking a loose piece of hair behind my ear.
I sighed as I leaned back in my chair.
"Do you think I'm making the right choice here? I mean with all of this?"
She sighed as well. Thinking over her answer.
"I think that, it is not up to me to fully decide. I don't think there is a right or wrong choice in this situation and I think you should do what you believe you need to do, so do you think you need to do this?"
"I think it's overdue if anything. It's just...Leah it's really, really hard." I stated, my voice cracking as I got a bit choked up.
"I know baby, you know my mom always told me the right choice is usually the hardest."
I let out a wry chuckle, feeling a few tears fall from my eyes.
"Well she was right. Aleah I don't know if I can do this." I spoke tearfully. on the verge of full on sobbing.
"Well, you don't have to. No ones making you, you said this was something you wanted to do but if you've changed your mind that's totally fine."
I thought it over for another moment before I blinked away my tears, shaking my head.
"No. No I need to do this. For me, for you and most importantly for the kids. I need to be there for you all. You guys are my top priority."
I placed my hand over her stomach, thinking about my kids' future. If I'm going to be a good mom I need to actually be around. Aleah smiled, placing her own hand over mine.
"So what do you have planned exactly?" She asked, looking at the sprawl of papers on the desk.
"Well it's going to be my longest show ever, I'm going to perform every single song I've ever written. Well that's out anyway. We're gonna start from the beginning with "ocean eyes" and then go from there ending with the songs of my upcoming album which I will also announce at the end of the show."
"That sounds amazing. I know everyone will love that."
"Yeah uh there's also something with the show I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to bring you guys on stage to sort of like "meet" everyone if that makes sense. It would be after we finish the "don't smile at me" era cause that's when I met you.
I noticed how her smile slightly dropped, making me tense up waiting for her response.
"Are you serious? Are you sure that's gonna be okay?"
"Of course it'll be okay. The fans love you and the kids. It'll be like a proper goodbye. From all of us. I mean you guys are the reason I'm doing this, so it seems fitting."
"Okay. Yeah let's do it."
"Seriously?"
"Yes let's do it. That would be really amazing and I know everyone would love that."
Tears pooled in my eyes as I stuck out my bottom lip, pouting.
"You have no idea how happy you just made me. I love you. Like so so much."
"I love you too. Come here." She tucked my head into her chest, my arms going to wrap around her body as she stroked my hair.
I cried for a few moments in her arms before I sat up and wiped my eyes.
"Ugh, I'm sorry. I'm just a mess."
"Hey, it's alright." She said as she wiped my tears away gently cupping my face in her hands. "You're my mess and I love you. Do you feel a little better now?"
"Yeah I do. Thank you."
"Anytime my love, now come on you need to get some sleep."
She brought me back to bed, holding me close to her chest as she stroked my hair.
"I'm so lucky to have you. I love you."
"I love you too. Get some sleep Bil."
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A/N: sorry for the short chapter 🙃
Anywayyy i'm out of schooool i had my all my finals and i'm out go me :) Hopefully my inspiration to write will come back over summer
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Our Future
Fanfiction(Sequel to Everything We Wanted) After getting married and having their first baby boy, Aleah and Billie are ready to expand their family! Follow their journey through motherhood and the famous life as they try to find a "new normal."
