Our Future

-Twenty-Five-

Today was Aleah's first day back at work in the last few months. She put her coat on and got her pager and everything else she needed and stood in front of the mirror for a good 5 minutes doing a few breathing exercises to get herself together.

She was quite nervous to go back not that I could understand why she was great at what she did.

"Okay. Today I'm focusing my stress on my job. Nothing else just my job. Cause I can control that."

"Mama why are you so stressed out about your job anyway? You're a great nurse."

I came up behind her, gently massaging her shoulders to relax her. Her shoulders dropped and she sighed.

"I don't know. I guess it's just a subconscious thing. I got it though, focus my stress on this and I'll be okay cause I'm gonna go to work, do my job, come home and then I'll be fine. Hopefully."

"Of course you'll be fine, you'll be great baby."
I leaned over to kiss her cheek as she giggled.

I walked her out to her car giving her a kiss goodbye and reassuring her she was gonna do great.

Once her car was out of sight I went back inside and got Leo and Delilahs breakfast ready.

Delilah couldn't eat completely solid foods just yet cause she didn't have all her teeth so I gave her some fruit and made Leo some pancakes which would most likely end up being a mess.

As if on cue I heard Leo come down the stairs with his plushie.

Since he gave Delilah Milo I gave him the Ilo plushie Aleah had gotten me for my birthday a few years back, so now they both have one.

"Hey buddy, did you sleep okay? No nightmares?"

"Nope! Only good dreams. I hads a dream that I was batman!"

I laughed as he continued to tell me about his dream. I picked him up and set him in a chair at the table giving him his breakfast before I went upstairs to get Delilah.

Luckily she was awake and smiling immediately bringing a smile upon my own face.

I brought her downstairs setting her into her high chair while I straightened up the kitchen.

It was weird being home without Aleah. Usually we partner on things like this, either I would feed the kids and she would clean or vice versa.

I'd be lying if I said I hadn't called or texted her for help throughout the day.

I hope she was doing okay at work.

(Aleah's pov)
What the hell is wrong with me? It's like I can't remember how to do anything.

It would be fine if I didn't have people to save and keep from dying. I've already messed up more times than I can count.

I forgot to give a patient of mine their pain medication, I mixed up two patients charts and I misplaced my pager and all of that happened in the first two and I half hours i've been here.

I used to be on top of my game every day and now it's like I don't know how to do anything. I feel like I'm back at Med School.

"Leah? Aleah?"

I was brought out of my thoughts as Meredith tapped me on my shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry what's up?"

"We have a patient in room 27 that needs to moved to OR. You okay?"

"Uhh yeah I'm fine. Let's go."
I brushed off the thoughts as I continued working.

Everyone was constantly asking me if I was alright throughout the day to which I had the same reply. I was fine.