Our Future

-Twenty-Three-

Bittersweet.

That was the only word to describe everything I just went through.

It hit me once I got back to the hotel. That part of my life is over.

I didn't want Leo or Delilah to see me in the state I was in. Not because I was embarrassed but because I didn't know how to be strong for them. I didn't know if I could be, especially not now.

I just needed some time. I needed that time to just let go of everything I was holding in. I left for them and all of my emotions came crashing down on me the second I stepped through the door.

Leo asked me multiple times if I was gonna be okay and each time I said I didn't know. Except this time.

This time I told him the truth. I was going to be okay, it might take me a while but I knew eventually I was going to be alright.

Aleah held me close as we laid on the bed and I just cried.

And cried.

And cried.

Her shirt was soaked in my tears not that she really cared much cause she didn't once release her tight hold on me.

She didn't even say anything. Not once. She simply held me, and that was all I needed.

I must've cried for at least an hour and a half before I ran out of tears and energy.

"How do you feel my love?" She had asked once I calmed down a bit. Her gentle voice making me want to repeat the process all over again. Her hand came down to brush the hair out of my face.

I sniffled. "Kinda like shit, heh."

"That's alright love. Do you want me to keep holding you or would you like to do something else."

"No I need to umm, I need to shower and you need to get the kids from Finns room."
I got up out of her lap and wiped my face.

"Are you sure? If you need a bit more time we can do that."

"No, it's alright mama. I'll be fine."

"I don't really believe you in that. But I do trust you. I love you."

"I love you too."

She gave me a sympathetic kiss as she left to go and get the kids while I took a moment to gather myself.

Going into the bathroom I took a look at myself in the mirror and to say the least I looked like a mess. My eyes were bloodshot red and puffy, my nose tinted pink.

I groaned a disgusted noise, going to wash my face and my eyes out to hopefully take away the redness.

I hopped in the shower for a minute as I took some time to myself. Letting the hot water run over my body as I breathed deeply.

A few minutes later I heard Aleah and the kids come back into the room. I smiled a bit as I thought about them.

As I got out of the shower and got dressed I heard Leo run into the bathroom happily.

"Leo buddy, I said to leave momma alone right now."

"He's fine Leah, I'm okay. Hey buddy did you have fun with your uncle?"

"Yeah! He showed me how to do music!"
By 'doing music' he meant he showed him how to produce it and make it.

"He did? Well that's great buddy I'm glad you had fun."

Leo continued to talk to me about what he did with Finn, taking my mind of things for a moment. I smiled whenever he got excited and jumped around.

Eventually he tired himself out and fell asleep on the bed. I chuckled to myself as I got him under the covers leaving a kiss to his forehead.

Delilah was on her way to being asleep so I laid her down on my chest as I laid on my back.

"Well it seems he had fun." Leah said as she laid beside me.

"Yeah. Definitely a better day than me."

"How are you feeling? You okay?"

I shook my head.
"No. And I don't think I will at least not fully be okay for a while but I will be. Eventually."

"Okay. Well I love you and I'll be here for you if you need it."

"Thanks mama. I love you too."

~

We got a flight back home the next week. I had my last meet and greet the day after the show and I don't think i've ever wanted to cry more.

I did cry a bit meeting a lot of them. My little babies, I was gonna miss them so much.

I got more gifts than I knew what to do with. Some of them even gave me things for Leo and Delilah which made my heart swell.

The flight home wasn't as horrible as it was before but it wasn't the best either. Delilah still didn't like it which caused her to go into another episode but we were able to handle it better this time.

Leo on the other hand was completely fine. After takeoff when we were allowed to move around it was like he was in his room. Running around jumping which bout have Aleah a heart attack each time.

I let out a sigh as we walked through our door. I didn't know if it was a happy to be home kinda sigh or a sad that it was over kinda sigh.

If i'm being real it was probably a little bit of both.

Once we got all of our stuff unpacked and put away we put Leo who had tired himself out down for a nap.

Delilah however was still wide awake and very chatty. So me and Aleah played with her downstairs for a while.

Though eventually she got tired as well so we put her down for her nap.

"I uhh I made an appointment with Lauren for tomorrow." Aleah told me once we got back to our room.

"Really? Are you okay?"

"To be completely honest I'm not sure. I think this pregnancy and..you know this kind of new life we're starting and all this pent up stress is I don't know I think it's starting take a bit of a toll. But it's nothing with you or anything you did it's just...me."

Her tone was a bit sad as I walked up to her. Linking my arms around her waist.
"Okay. Is there anything I can do to like help?"

"No I think this is something I need to work through on my own and I don't mean that in any kind of rude way to you I just-"

She started to ramble a bit as she got more nervous so I gently cupped her face in my hands.
"Hey it's alright, I get it. Well I love you okay? And I'll be here if you need me okay?"

"Yeah, I love you too."

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A/N: okay so after this chapter is when I started getting really bad writers block so from now on it's probably gonna get boring and i'm sorry in advance.

But I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless 💕