Fall

I don't want to do this anymore

"Thank you Stella for taking the time to meet with me," I smile sipping on my lemonade. "You said it was important so I came right over," Stella had been my manager for quite some time now and she always had my best entrance at heart. "So you know I drop the twins in a little less than three months," I tell her.

"Yes honey, I can't wait to see them," she smiled rubbing my belly. "Well I want to put my career on hold so that I can be home with the kids and Justin more," I say nervously. Stella stopped in her tracks. "For how long?" Stella asks placing her glass on the table. I look out over the pool to distract my mind from going crazy. "I don't a few years," I shrug and she sighs.

"Years Bella?" she asks and I knew she was disappointed. "It's just that I only see Justin for work things now. Elisa isn't getting to experience a normal family home routine and it's not fair to her," I explain.

"I understand everything you're saying right now. I agree that the way things are isn't ideal. I also want to remind you that the whole reason behind this arranged marriage is to bring you and Justin more attention. It doesn't make sense to just go off the maps," she gives me a sympathetic look.

"I know why I agreed to the marriage at first. Now things have changed and I actually love this person and we are about to start a whole life together and bring new life into the world. I mean the contract won't allow me to completely get out of working because Justin and I both have work engagements together," I try to reason with her.

"I care about you and I want you to be happy so let's compromise here. How about I lighten your workload. I won't schedule too many shoots or engagements that require you to fly anywhere. I will leave the traveling up to the engagements that you and Justin have," she gives me an uneasy look.

I sigh and look back at her. "I don't want to do this anymore," I tell her honestly. "Modeling?" she questioned loudly. "Yeah, I just want to be a good wife and good mother now," I tell her. "Let me ask you something. Was your mom any less of a mother to you and your siblings, when she had to constantly work?" she asks.

"No, but I am not my mom. She such a strong woman and she had Rose and Loretta helping every step of the way," I remind her. "And you have your sisters, mom, dad, Justin, Rose, and Loretta, let's not forget your grandfather and Ming. We haven't even mentioned Justin's side of the family," she sips on her lemonade.

"I just don't want you to give up on something that you worked so hard for. You're the thickest Victoria Secret Angel ever. They always go for the far thinner girls but they looked at you and thought she has what it takes to be an Angel. This was way before Justin even came into the picture baby," she smirks. I laugh at her while I think about how far I've come.

"What does Justin think?" she asks sitting back eyeing me carefully. "He has the same feelings you have towards stopping. He doesn't think it's a good idea," I tell her. "Well he's a very smart man and you need to listen to him," she smiles to herself. I roll my eyes and stare at the water once again.

"Don't lose yourself in the midst of your circumstances," she pats my back before grabbing her things to go," I nod before she let herself out. Maybe she was right but I couldn't help but feel like I wanted my life to slow down for a minute. I just want to feel in control again for once. I go back into the house.

I call Justin and he picks up on the first ring. "Hey baby," his voice comes through the phone. "Hey, where are you? I finished my meeting with Stella,"

"I am grabbing some Starbucks do you want to meet me here and we can talk about it?" he asks. "Yes, I am on my way," I tell him before hanging up and putting on my slides. Even though my stomach was huge driving wasn't that bad. I used Justin's location to meet him at the Starbucks. When I arrived he was sitting at a table by himself with my favorite drink across from him. People were taking pictures and pap was outside videoing him sitting on his phone. Once I walked in people's eyes went wide. Justin and I made eye contact and he immediately got up and helped me to the table.