Fall

Stuck

++Bella++
I look at the test in my hand and then look at my sisters. Everyone was nervous including me. "Come on flip them over," Tori says to me. "I can't do it," I sigh. "I'll do it," London takes all three test and read them. "What they say?" Kennedy asks. "All three are positive," she sits them back down for all of us to see.

"Fuck" I hold my head back. "Baby number 4," Tori says to me and I roll my eyes. "Another attachment to him," I put my head in my hands. Tori rubs my back. "You could always..... you know,"
She alludes to an abortion. "No, I wouldn't be able to live with myself,"

"When are you going to tell him?" Kennedy asks. "No time soon. I'm not ready to talk or look at him for that matter," I sigh. The last thing we needed right now was another baby. This divorce was already going to be a lot on me mentally and now we have to add a baby on top of this. "You and Ming will be having a baby at the same time," Tori says trying to cheer me up. I break down and they remain quiet. I didn't want to have to see Justin more than I already have to. How am I suppose to ignore him and I am pregnant with his child. 

"Look, I know this sucks but maybe this is a sign that you guys should still be together," London says. "The man ended things with her remember?" Ken says to her. It made my heart hurt more. There is a knock on the door. "Girls, what's going on in there?" we hear our mother's voice. We all scramble to throw out the test. "Nothing mom we're good?" Tori says. "Are you lying to me? Open this door," she turns the knob. "Hold on," we look for where to hide the test before opening the door. My mother looks around the bathroom and then at us. "Why were you crying?" she asks me. 

"We were just talking that's all," I shrug. My mom looks at all of us and then turns her attention back to me. "Justin is here to speak with you. Don't worry I told him it has to be a supervised visit," she says. "We will sit with them," Tori speaks up. My sisters all nod in agreement. "Fine," my mother sighs. We all go downstairs to see Justin in the living room. The girls and I walk to the family room and sit down on the couch. Justin sits in the chair across from the couch. My sisters facial expression were defensive like they were ready to pounce at any given moment. 

Justin looks at me and I look at him. "What is it?" I ask him. "I don't want to end this Bella. I was wrong and upset. I wanted you feel how I felt when you made me feel. I don't know what I was thinking ending things with you. You are the best thing to happen to me. I love you more than life it's self," he says. I stare blankly at him and look at my sisters. "It's too late Justin we are already in the process of getting the divorce. The contract is torn," I inform him. "We don't need one to be together," he says to me. 

"No, Justin my answer is no. You don't get to make a life altering decision and expect me to just jump back to the routine of being your wife. You said you wanted to be done and now Justin we are done and for good," I tell him calmly. "Please," he begged. "No Justin I can't do this anymore.  I'm sick of this power you hold over me. You are the one person who has the most power to hurt me and keep doing it. Why should I keep putting myself through that? I don't have to. I have kids to raise and I have to be okay for the sake of them. I have finally got to put myself first and I hope you can understand that," I tell him. 

"I guess I'll have to," he nods. "If it means anything, I'll never love someone the way I love you," he stands in front of me. "I love you too Justin," I turn my face so no one could see me. This made me emotional. This was the end of my first true love. Our love was supposed to be forever and I never wanted it to end. 

"Bella, creo que deberías decirle," (Bella I think you should tell him) Tori looks at me. I shake my head no. I wasn't really ready to tell anyone else about this unborn baby. "It might be what's best," London says.

"Justin I'm pregnant," I say before I could catch myself. He looks at me and then to my sister but then back up at me. "When did you find out?" he asks me. "Just a few minutes ago," I sigh holding my head in my hands. "What are we going to do?" he asks scratching the back of his neck. "We are going to raise the baby just like we have been doing the other kids," I give him a blank stare.