Fall

You don't know what you got til it's gone

+++++++Bella++++++++

The tears rushed down my face. He couldn't be gone. I wasn't taking that as an answer. I pull up to the scene and the ambulance was there taking Justin into the truck. I ran over as fast as I could. "I'm his wife," I yell in tears. He was all scratched and beaten up. The sight of him made my heart hurt. I get into the car with him and they rush us to the ER.

It was like everything around me was moving so fast. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and center myself. This was a moment that I needed to be strong for. I followed behind the doctor who had Justin on a gurney. "Ma'am we need you to wait in the waiting room," the last doctor said. "I can't leave him, he's my husband," I say in the calmest way possible.

"I can't permit you beyond these doors," he gives me a sympathetic look. "Well, you're going to permit me today because I'm not leaving his side," I snap. A nurse taps me on my back. "Mrs. Bieber," she said in a calming and sweet voice. "You have to let the doctors do their job. The quicker they get back there the better chance for your husband," she guides me to the waiting room.

Tears spilled out of my eyes as I put my head in my hands. He can't be gone. I still needed him here with the children and me. I should've just forgiven him. My legs bounced up and down quickly and my heart picked up its pace. "Would you like some water or a snack?" the same nurse asks sitting next to me. "No thank you," I wipe my face. She rubs my back, trying to calm me down. "I heard you just had twins not too long ago," she says trying to take my mind off of the current events.

I smile slightly at the thought of my babies who were home waiting for me. "Yeah, Ella and Eli," I tell her. "How is motherhood treating you?" she asks. "It's definitely hard because there are two of them and sometimes they are hungry at the same time," I chuckle a little. "Tell me about it I had two girls and they were such a pain. Don't get me wrong they are my heartbeats but I just wanted a full night's rest and they thought otherwise," she laughs. I join her and smile before a doctor comes out.

"Isabella Bieber?" he calls out looking around the waiting room. I stand up and walk over to him. "I'm here," I rub my arm nervously. "I am so sorry but Mr. Bieber didn't make it," he sighed. I dropped down to my knees and screamed. "No! No! No!," I repeated over and over again. It couldn't be true. "He's not dead," I whimpered looking up at the doctor who tried his best to remain composed.

"Please tell me this is some form of a sick joke," I pleaded. "I really am sorry Mrs. Bieber," he said before walking away leaving me to myself in the middle of the hospital floor broken.

I wake up in a cold sweat looking around at the slightly lit room. The curtains were closed and I was alone in Pattie's bed. I get out of the bed and sneak out of the room. I go into our bedroom and see that no one was in there. The bed was completely made and the tv was turned off. I go downstairs to see Pattie and Diane along with the twins and Elisa in the family room talking. Elisa rested in Diane's lap laughing at something Pattie was saying. There was no sign of Justin. No No, so it's true? He's gone.

I come down the steps and Pattie looks at me with a smile and pats the seat next to her. I go sit and lay my head in her lap. "You okay sweetie?" she asks running her fingers through my hair. Before I could answer her the front door alarm went off and I pick my head up and see Justin holding flowers and he looked a little disheveled. His hair was all over his head and he looked tired. We locked eyes and I instantly got up and ran over to him surprising him. I jump in his arms making him drop the bags. He tightly wraps his arms around me. "I love you so much," I tell him.

"I love you more and I am so sorry," he keeps me in his arms. "Please don't ever do this again," I squeeze him. "I promise I won't," he says. We stayed like that for a little while before his arms got tired. I hop down and he picks up the flowers and hands them to me. "Thank you I love them," I smile.

He still looked a little disheveled. "You okay?" I ask him. "yeah everything is better now," a smile comes on his face. "What made you have a change in heart?" he asks sitting me in his lap on the couch in the living room so that we were alone. "I had this vivid dream that you died. It made me realize that I didn't want to lose you. There is nothing in my life that I want more than what we have, our family, our love," I look down.

"There's nothing more I want more than those things," he kisses my forehead. "I won't lie to you, I'm still hurt. But I want to figure this out together," I tell him and he gives me a small smile. "I won't let you down," he whispers.

+++++++++++++++

"I forgave him," I sit on the swing with Ella in my arms sleep. Ming gives me a look I knew all too well. "I am worried about you," she tells me as she burps Eli. "Why?" I ask her. "You're not putting yourself first anymore," she sighs. "I can't put myself first anymore Ming. I am a mom and a wife," I sighed.

"I understand that but it seems like you keep putting yourself in these positions to get hurt," she says. I sat there in silence maybe she was right but my heart wanted what it wanted. "I hear you Ming, I do," I sighed adjusting Ella in my arms. "But I had this really vivid dream that he died in a terrible car accident. It made me realize that I didn't want to do my life without him. I don't want to raise our children separately from Justin," I explain.

I knew how it looked. I forgave him over a silly dream. To me it felt like God was showing me that we were suppose to be together. "You know I never thought it would be like this," she says looking down at Eli. "What do you mean?" I ask her. "I always thought once we moved out of our parents home we would get a place together and take on the world together," she says.

"Funny how things took a crazy turn right?" I chuckle a little finally looking at her. "Remember we had plans to move to New York together and live together for the rest of our lives. We were going to get matching puppies and twin husbands," she laughed at the last part.

"Oh no could you imagine if we actually dated twins," I laugh but not too loud to wake Ella out of her sleep. "Man those were the days," I give her a small smile. "You know I'm always going to be here for you Ming," I tell her. "Bitch you know this is for life and even beyond that. I just wish you would've waited a little longer to have kids so that our children could grow up together," she dramatically sighs.

"My momma had kid before your momma and we managed to become best friends. I'll just make sure we get knocked up at the same time," I joke. "Bro literally us pregnant at the same time would be so fucking cool though. We could wear like matching bestie maternity shirts and stuff," she laughs.

"I don't think the world could handle the two of us pregnant at the same time," I get up from the swing. "Bella," Ming calls my name. I turn and look back at her. "I love you okay?" she smiles with a tear coming from her eye. I walk over to my best friend and hug her as best I could. "Ming I love you even more. I am so glad that you're my best friend and that we live together and that it's you who gets to keep me going even when I don't want to," I laugh and tear up with her.

"Why are we so emotional?" she laughs wiping her tears. "I think it's because we're getting older," I shrug. "One more thing Bells," she got up with me as we walk up the path to the house. "What is that?" I ask. "If I see Hailey's ass again I'ma beat her ass," she bumps my hip. "Bitch I'ma help you," I laugh.