Fall

Christmas pt 2

"Justin I'm scared," I look at him while the nurse connected an IV into my arm. "I'll be right here the whole time baby," he said sitting in the chair across from the hospital bed. I was still in pain but the liquid secretion had stopped. "Your doctor will be in soon," the nurse gave a small smile as she walked out with her clipboard. "What if we lose the babies," I whisper. Justin stood up from the chair and held my hand. "Everything is going to be alright," he placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I held his hand and whimpered from the abnormal amount of pain I was in. 

About 10 minutes later the doctor came in with his clipboard. "Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Bieber. I am going to run and do a quick ultrasound so that we can get to the bottom of this. But there is one concern that I have while looking at your chart. It shows here that you are diagnosed with Depression," he said looking up at me from the clipboard. I nod my head yes. "I assume you're taking your medication for it?" he asked. 

"Yes, I take it every day. Is there something wrong?" I asked exhausted from the pain. I began to feel weak. "I think your body is having some form of reaction to the medicine with the twins inside. You're just out of your first trimester which means that the scary part is over. I am going to get started on the ultrasound before anything alright?" he slapped his hands together and prepared for the ultra sound. 

"The gel will be cold," he reminds me. I look over at the screen to see my beautiful babies. Even though they were small they were still beautiful. The doctor zoomed in on the screen. "Oh my! there seems to be a hole inside of your placenta," he points to the hole the size of a quarter on the screen. "That's why you were secreting brown and yellow liquid. From the looks of it, your medicine is tearing apart your placenta, which starts with holes. I would highly recommend you stop taking your medicine," he looked over at me. 

"Do you think you can handle yourself without your medicine?" Justin asked me. I knew that I wanted to be a mother more than anything and if that meant that I needed to be a little more careful without my medicine then that's what I am going to do. "I think I can handle it," I say. 

"If you feel like you can not handle being without them do not hesitate to come back in. We are going to give you some Motrin for your pain. I think it's best to keep you overnight just to make sure that the medication in your system doesn't form any more holes in the placenta. You should experience some cramping for about a week so I suggest bed rest. Do not do any major moving or sexual intercourse. Just try to take it slow alright?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. I just wanted them to bring me some Motrin. "Justin I don't want any visitor today," I say trying to keep my eye open. "Are you okay?" he asked. I close my eyes and nod. "I'm exhausted right now Justin and I'm in a lot of pain," I continued to take deep breathes. "The nurse is on her way with your medicine. Do not worry," the doctor said before exiting. 

I look over at Justin who looked worried. "Come lay with me," I tell him. He got in and cuddled into me. "I'm sorry," I apologized. "What are you sorry for?" he asked rubbing circles in my back. "That we can't go to Canada. I know how much this means to you baby," I tell him. "As long as I am with you I do not care what part of the world I am in," he kissed my lips. 

I take my medicine and fall asleep. "Babe, I have to get home to Elisa. I'll see you in the morning when it's time to pick you up alright?" he said kissing my cheek. I was half asleep so I nodded and drifted back off to sleep. I tossed and turned throughout the night. It was currently 3 in the morning. I call Justin to see if he was awake. 

"Hello," he answered on the third ring. It looked like he was outside in the backyard. "How come you aren't in bed?" I ask him. "I can't sleep without you," he tells me. I blush a little and cover my face. "Why are you up this late?" he asked. "I can't sleep without you either," I smile. "How are you feeling?" Justin asked. I sighed thinking about having to come off of my medicine. "I'm scared honestly,"