[COMPLETED] 18+⚠️: Contains mature and sexual content // enemies to lovers
"I hate you." I repeated as I continued to walk toward her, causing her to touch the closed refrigerator with her back as she backed away. "I hate you so much that sometimes...
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What the hell is wrong with me?
I'm a fucking CIA agent who almost had sex with her target. My job is to stop him and his entire gang, even if it ends fatally for them. And what do I do? I let him finger me at a bloody wedding in one of the guest room. Again, if you want to take it exactly...only with the difference that I came this time. Bloody hell we probably would have done more than that...I mean we were about to fuck.
What has gotten into me?
Well, I already know what it is not. I owe it to my quick escape when reality hit me.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
Ashley Isabella Scott why are you like this?
The worst part actually is that I don't completely regret it, even though I try to force myself to feel that way. A small part of me is sad that we got interrupted, but the bigger part is actually just pissed and angry. Pissed off and angry that I feel this way and especially that I let it get this far in the first place.
I will never forget this situation again and that is actually the worst. Because I will never get rid of the part that craved for more. Now I have to live with this feeling all the time. Forever and always.
Especially since I would always wonder what would have happened if I hadn't run away.... But the moment Harry cursed because there was something wrong with his earpiece, it was like a slap in the face with the truth. Within seconds the last few minutes really sank into my brain and memory and I understood what had just happened.
That I'm going to hell I've known for a long time, but this time I even have something to be tormented with there. The truth. Because the truth is the worst torture there is. That and knives.
I have done many terrible things in my life on this earth. But I do not regret any of it. It makes me the person I am today and you can't live a life like that if you regret. Because then there is no way back.
I had to learn that quickly. And for that I had to start denying the truth. Because the truth is that I'm a killer with a heart of stone and living like that destroys you.
So I lie.
It's so simple and easy.
I lie and tell myself that it is right to lie to my only friends on this planet. It protects them and their perfect world. I lie and tell myself that I hate what just happened behind the closed door with Harry. That I actually liked it, especially since it was forbidden and risky, I don't admit to myself.
But as life is, the truth slowly catches up with me. In more ways than one.
It won't be long before Layla and Piper learn that the boys belong to Falling. And not long, then I admit to myself that I do not regret what I just did with Harry.
