I Do...

Chapter 36

They say that your life flashes before your eyes when you die but I think they lie. I mean unless something has happened in the last nano second then I am still alive; yet I keep thinking of things in my past. Stupid things like silly little arguments that seem so pointless right now. I stared at the ceiling of my old room. I had forgotten that there was a small hook where a princess canopy once flowed down across the bed. I stared at it for a while, my mind blank. I can’t recall ever looking so intently at it before. My eyes followed the edges of the patches of paint that didn’t quite blend in with the rest. When I was about six my mum had decided to repaint the ceiling and half way through we had some visitors so she stopped and said she would finish it the next day. Of course she never and the ceiling remained patchy. Not that it was terribly visible but now it seemed to show more than ever. I’m not sure that it was because I was looking at it so intently or not.

 I tossed and turned in bed just like I had nearly six years ago when I was deciding whether or not to go round Liam’s in the middle of the night to sort out our feud. Despite making a hole in the hedge that night and getting accusations of burglaries being passed around town, I was forever grateful to myself for going that because if I hadn’t I might not have been where I was now...the night before my wedding.

I played the words through my mind. How could two words be so terrifying yet so pleasant all at the same time. My wedding. I shook my head and looked at the time on the clock besides me. It was three am. I sighed and threw the duvet off me and climbed out of bed. There was no use in just lying here. I was working myself up for no apparent reason. 

I walked down the stairs trying to remember which floorboards creaked and which didn’t so as not to wake up my parents. I managed to do so quite successfully and I applauded myself for remembering. I pushed open the living room door and turned on the telly. Leaving the telly glowing brightly as a weather reported forecasted the weeks weather, I walked into the kitchen and decided to hunt through the kitchen cabinets in search of food.

I frowned as I pushed my way through tin cans of chick peas and chopped tomatoes. Where was all the good stuff that once lined these shelves? I guess mum had gotten her way since I had left and out ruled my dad.

“I thought I heard you.” I heard a sleepy voice say. I looked up from my crouched position to see my dad entering the kitchen.

“What you doing up?” I said querying why he was standing before me.

“Well I heard you wandering about and I wanted to check you were okay. You’re not having second thoughts are you? Because if you are it’s not too late. I can still-“

I smiled at his efforts. “No dad, I’m not. I mean sure I’m nervous about it all. But I can honestly say that the one thing that is certain in my life right now is how much I want to marry him.”

I smiled a smile which was somewhere in between happy and sad. I mirrored his smile and stepped forward to hug him. It felt so nice and warm and safe in his arms. I had forgotten just how much I loved it.

“I love you Becks. You’re the best daughter in the world.” He said pulling me tighter towards him.

“I’m your only daughter dad!” I said with a hint of laughter in my voice.

He chuckled and I could feel the vibrations in his chest. “Yes that’s true. But you’re my baby...my baby. But you’re not so little anymore. I can’t believe you’re getting married tomorrow. You’re just a kid.” He said and I could sense the sadness he was feeling.

“I might be getting married but I’ll always be your girl dad. Always.” I said and grabbed him again for another hug. “I think I need to come back here though...sort out the food situation! Where’s all the good stuff gone?” I said trying to lighten the mood.

“You’re mothers trying to enforce a diet on me. Because I quote ‘she didn’t want what happened at Nic’s wedding to happen again’”

“It better not! Have you tried your suit on? Please tell me you have! I don’t want panic street tomorrow when it doesn’t fit!” I said suddenly worried that I might have to deal with a déjà vu moment again.

“I have done. Your mum’s forced me nearly every night this week to do so. So you don’t need to worry about that. As for the food situation I have a little secret I would like to share with you. He walked into the dining room and opened one of the cupboards which used to store all my craft items and took out a small tin box similar to the ones that used to hold a variety of my haberdashery.

He pulled the lid off to reveal that it contain an array of different chocolate bars, cakes and sweets.

“Whatever you do, do not tell your mother! She will have my guts for garters!” He said with a fear in his eyes.

“Don’t worry dad, I won’t. But I will pinch you’re last kit kat!” I grabbing it greedily. He rolled his eyes and took a chocolate cake bar out of the tin before closing it and placing it back in the cupboard.

“Good hiding place you’ve got there! I’m impressed.” I said biting into one of the chocolate fingers and savouring the taste. This was my first chocolate bar in a couple of weeks and it was the best thing I had ever tasted.

“I thought you might be! It’s the sort of thing I can imagine you doing. We’re not so different you and I!” He said quoting Dr Evil.

“I love having you back here. It’s like the good old days when it was you and me making mischief. I’m going to miss that.” He said eating his chocolate.

“Don’t worry, just because I’m getting married doesn’t mean that’s going to change. Hey in a couple of years you might even have a couple of grandchildren to mess around with.” I said trying my best to cheer him up.

“Grandchildren? I’m way too young! I’ve barely had time to process the fact that you’re getting married and now there’s talk of grandchildren!” He said all worriedly. Not quite the reaction I was hoping for.

“Don’t worry we’re talking a couple of years yet dad!” He began to unwind. “Or should I say Grandad?” He glared at me questioningly. I giggled. “Or Grandpops?” I said liking the sound of that.

“Whatever you say Becks. Now hurry up and get back to bed because you’re going to be shattered if you don’t get some sleep. You’ve got a busy day ahead of you and you don’t want to look like death.”

I nodded in agreement and hugged him before making my way back to bed. I was feeling a lot calmer than I was before and I managed to drift off to sleep pretty quickly.