See My Heart, Not My Body {Alastor x Female Reader}

Paradise.

~•●SEVERE TRIGGER WARNING, THIS CHAPTER DISPLAYS MANY ACTS OF DOMESTIC ABUSE AND SEXUAL ABUSE, AS WELL AS ELEMENTS OF DEATH AND SUICIDE. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. ●•~

Months have passed. You've grown to love your home in this hotel. You attended your classes and therapy, you gave advice to the others, you even shared some of your stories.

Sadly, you were never able to fully share why you were in hell, how you died, or who did all of the terrible things to you.

Alastor had grown closer to you in this time. He often visited before you went to sleep. He would play you soft lullabies and if you had nightmares, he would return and hold your hand.

Unfortunately, the nightmares came more and more often. But, then again, they brought him to you.

On this night, you lay in bed, your eyes staring at the ceiling. You'd had nightmares every day this week, and the fear of sleep gripped your heart.

Alastor had left, as he thought you had fallen asleep. But here you lay, staring up, dreading when sleep would overtake you.

But you lost the battle again, as you always did. And sleep overtook you again.

It was dark, and smelled musty. Like old beer and mold. A shiver went down your spine and you looked at your hands. Your now familiar demon form was not here. These were your hands in life.

Your wrists were bruised from his hands. You remembered this day well, and dread filled the pit of your gut.

A door slammed and your felt yourself flinch and shiver.

It's now or never...

You remembered this thought well. It did nothing to ease your fear.

Daniel stumbled into the room, slurring out his usual angry rants on how you were useless. Nothing but a cock tease.

You stood up and attempted to hide the shaking in your legs.

"W-well honey... I think I'm ready now..."

He turned his gaze onto you and gave a drunken smile. It sent waves of disgust through your entire body.

"Well well, it's about damn time... Come on, we're doing it right now. And you ain't fucking backing out this time."

He roughly grabbed your wrist and yanked you into the bedroom. You bit your tongue to keep from crying out.

He shoved you into his disgusting bedroom and shut the door. You noticed he locked it with a new key. He never had a key for this door before.

A shiver went through you at the thought that maybe he had intended to make this happen one way or another.

He stripped down and laid on the bed, smirking at you. "Come on over sweetheart, Daddy's waiting~"

You resisted the urge to gag at the sight of him and slowly undressed yourself. Pure disgust and fear rippled through every inch of your body, but you knew this had to be done.

You looked up at his ceiling, the haphazardly put up and janky chandelier still there. The ends were sharp.

You attempted to be seductive and walk to the edge of the bed, lightly touching his body. You grabbed a heavy object off the floor, a remote it felt like, holding it tight.

He groaned and suddenly grabbed you, yanking you onto him.

"I'm not dealing with this fucking bullshit [Y/N], I'm going to fuck you. Now."

A panic went through you as you had dropped the remote, and he was getting dangerously close to entering you. You looked at your arms, held in his grasp. The bruises all over them, all over your body... You realize now they looked just like your demonic markings.

But all you could feel in this moment was panic. You knew what you would rather do, than be taken by this man any longer.

You bit his ear, shoving against his chest and freeing one of your hands. He yelled and punched you in the face. You felt blood seeping from your left eye. His ring had caught you.

You grabbed a book off of his side table and with a yell, you threw it at the chandelier.

All you could hear or see after that was the sound of cracking, and sight of red.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You shot up with a slight gasp, breathing heavily. Your entire body was shaking and tears leaked from your eyes. You looked at your hands, your nails sharp and your demonic markings sliding over your skin.

You felt sick and you held your stomach, jumping out of bed and rushing to your bathroom.

You emptied your stomach and sat on the ground of your bathroom, panting. You heard low and animal like cries coming from somewhere. Like the sounds of some dying beast.

It took you a few moments to realize the sounds were coming from you.

You laid on the ground, holding yourself in a feeble position. Suddenly, a familiar presence was with you.

Unlike Daniel's touch, this one was gentle. Alastor softly pulled you into his arms, holding you against his chest.

The feeling of comfort, of safety, of care... They broke your defenses and you started sobbing in his arms.

He said nothing, only held you and allowed you your moment of weakness. He didn't pry, only allowed you to lean on him for strength.

After a while, you calmed down. You looked up at him and gasped softly. His usual smiling face barely held a smile at all. He looked strained, and his eyes were a flurry of emotions. Pain. Anger. Worry.

He put his hand on your cheek and his smile grew a bit. "I am here for you my dear. You will never have to worry about harm falling upon you again, not while I am still damned to this world."

A soft smile came onto your face and you leaned in to kiss him. You felt him slightly jump in surprise, but he returned the affection.

He took you back to your bed and laid you down. He sat next to you and sang, holding your hand until you fell into a peaceful sleep. Devoid of nightmares or pain. All you needed was him.

You were safe. In Hell, of all places.