and i cant come to choose what im gon do.
and my heart starts to cry if it aint you.
and you're love is so sweet that i'd be a fool.
so i guess im just settling.
LIYAHS POV
me and mani were having a giggle fit on the back of this uber because this que boy was really unattractive. austin was flirting with the uber driver who just happened to be fine asf and our age. we pull up to this mansion and i hear loud music playing. there are people EVERYWHERE.
my kinda setting ;). i stay close to austin since mani was with maddie again. they are so cute i love seeing them together. billie crosses my mind and i start downing drinks to forget about her, a pretty girl walks up to me. she had tan brown skin and hazel eyes. she was wearing a long black dress that was cut messily to look ripped. i loveddd it. she was so attractive. "slow dont honey, dont wanna throw up. whats your name?" "liyahhhhhhhhh" i slur. she giggles. "wanna go do karaoke??" she asks. i instantly sober up at the thought. we pick a song and people start getting ready to go up. about 5 groups go singing amazing songs and soon it was me and this girls turn. i learned her name was nasia. she was so magnetic and i felt an instant connection as soon as i saw her.
we danced as the music started. we decided i sing the main part by myself and have nasia as backup. the led lights in the house went from red to blue as soon as the music started as if everyone was mesmerized just by me still being on stage. the house was weirdly built and everyone here seemed to be in the industry or trying to get it.
the living room was like a concert room with a stage and open floor area. i cant live with you but i cant live without you. i sway as nasia hums background vocals. everyone is grinding on someone or something. and my hand is on the trigger pull it out for you. i sing perfectlu. satisfied the the reactions im gaining i look into the crowd looking for mani as i sing a few more lyrics. i lock eyes with her.
BILLIES POV
im letting que sway me back to forth. i really like him. i notice it was liyah singing so when we locked eyes i panicked. she gave me an "oh okay" look and told the girl singing background to get closer to her. i looked at her confused but all she did was send me a smirk.
LIYAHS POV
i motion for nasia to get behind me and she grabs my hips as a reflex. i lean my head back onto her shoulder and keep staring at billie. she looks pissed. i wonder fucking why. me and nasia sway back and forth until i turn and look her in her eyes. as the instrumental break was coming on i whispered "im drunk and i feel bad for using u to make a girl jealous." she laughs lightly and says "girl im doing the same thing." we stare into each others eyes and i know we both feel nothing but platonic feelings. i smile and turn back around to see billie gone. i smirk knowing i won and finish off the song.
i exchange numbers with nasia and we part ways. i walk to the bathroom and hear running behind me but i dont pay attention because its not my business i walk into the bathroom and feel someone push me in and lock the door. i see a fuming billie infront of me. like fuming.
"what the FUCK do you think you're doing??"
"girl what are YOU doing? im tryna piss and you come busting i here like the fucking fbi."
"who is that girl?"
"nasia?"
"what are yall? like a couple?"
"hm i see you're still in my business after you ghosted me for 3 weeks after we had sex. i had to watch you bring that pink haired bitch into your home every. night. even maggie dodged my calls. i was depressed and suicidal and what were you doing? fucking some dude who has his arm around another bitch out there right now. stay the fuck away from me." i say in all one breath. i breathe in deeply so i dont cry and the once dark blue angry eyes turned a light blue. a sympathy blue. "i guess cheaters are meant to b-" i say but she cut me off.
she kissed me. i pull away and smirk leaving her confused.
"seems like you lost again eilish. have fun being a hoe with your hoe of a boyfriend.
i walk out the bathroom. text nasia saying im leaving and catch an uber. austin was laid up with some girl and mani was with madison so home alone i go. i walk up to the que boy before i leave and sock his black ass in the eye. "stop cheating on a beautiful girl you bitch ass nigga." and get in the uber heading home.
BILLIES POV
i fucked up. bad.
i leave the bathroom and see brandon on the ground while some red haired bitch put ice on his eye. "what the hell happened to you?" i say pushing the girl out the way "ur ex punched me." "who?? liyah? damn." i laugh. he gets up and leaves. i tell madison im going home and text lizzy saying im out. i get in my car and head home.
LIYAHS POV
i get home and tie idol up out side and lock the cats in my bedroom. i have to get every live thing out the way when i have an episode. i safely get the animals out the way and unleash the darkness brewing inside me. im breaking and hitting and smashing everything in my path i let out screams of pain since glass,wood,and brick are tearing my body apart everytime something breaks. its all black. all i see is black. i start hitting myself and pulling at my braids. scratching my wrists and letting out screams.
BILLIES POV
i dont know whats going on but its loud.. i walk over carefully to liyahs house , i let myself in to see her having a manic episode. its really bad. i text mani and she says shes on her way. i launch myself at liyah and use all my strength to hold her until shes calm. i remember mani saying when she gets like this to hold her and whisper her fav words / songs. i hold her tight and start singing blessed in her ear but that only seems to make her more upset. she starts balling and i know why. it was the song we sung the first time we genuinely hung out together. i then start singing i love you in her ear. i know thats her favorite song by me. suprisingly it helps alot. i carry her bridal style up to her room and kiss her on her forehead. at least 5 mins after she falls asleep mani gets here. i start to explain what happened but all mani said to me was "get out." i left and cried.
its all my fault. its time i try to fully forget about her.
i call danielle and tell her im gonna take her out for a date tomorrow. dani's really pretty and i know she'll be a good distraction.
