i try not to upset you, let you, rescue me. the day i met you i just wanted to protect you.
liyahs pov
saying i was tired would be an understatement. here i am sat half asleep on a hotel chair watching the love my life breathe. the room is silent except for her light snores. every once and a while her snores would stop for about 60 seconds causing me to panic for 60 seconds. what if she stops breathing and dies in her sleep? what if i fall asleep and she actually jumps this time? what if we break up and she kills herself? she said it herself that she cant live without me, but she was joking...right?
my mind is racing and before i know it, a tear slips down my cheek. i smack it away. the fuck. i need to be strong for her. if i crumble so does she. i realize that now. billie has always been strong for me. throughout my blackouts. without her i'd go through withdrawal.
billies like novacane. everything about her is addictive. even her fans are addicted. her ways capture everyone around her, from the way her hair falls onto her face while sleep to the way she jumps around on stage despite her breakable body. just looking at her turns me on. i have to pinch myself sometimes to remind myself that shes real.
billie didnt look like billie right now though. her once pale skin was now kind of yellow and her face looks fatter. her breathing was uneven and she smelled like vomit causing the room to smell like vomit.
everytime we get good shit goes bad. billies a runner so i know when she wakes up shes gonna distance herself.
i slide out the chair and collapse onto the bed. the suns just barely rising so billie probably wont be up anytime soon. ignoring the stench i climb under the sheets and rest my back on the headboard. i slowly and carefully lift billies head onto my lap. she shivers for a second but her normal unstable breathing routine continues. i take one deep breath in and before you know it im out.
AN
hey besties😍. this is just a simple filler chapter. i wanted to give you something since its been a while. anyways, new book soon😀. like....a few hours soon. enjoy a little ilomilo :) i love you sooo much i hope you're doing okay. please reach out to someone if you need help. i see ur comments, ty for feedback.
1-800-784-2433 national suicide prevention hotline
1-586-307-9100 crisis line
