dont wanna die. cus now you're here and i just wanna be...right by your side.
on any night that you'll be crying baby, ill dry your eyes.
2 weeks later
liyahs pov
"billie??? please back up."
"liyah. you have driven me to this, with all the times i had to watch you fall apart. with all the times ive saved you. i dont love you enough to do all this bullshit for you. stop being stubborn and let me go. see you in hell." billie says as she leaps off the edge of the building. i look over the edge of the building and see her body laid on the concrete. i feel tears fill up my eyes but before even one tear could fall...
i shoot up from my position. struggling to breathe. i look around frantically for billie but shes not there. my breathing speeds up i start feeling light headed. "b-billie.." i could say quietly. i heard ticking in my brain. as if there was a tiny clock in my head.
i hear some shuffling and reality distorts. ive been having these nightmares for about a week now, but i always wake right before billie jumps.
to see her jump this time frightened me. it felt like i could feel the wind. i could feel the blanket wrapped around my body. i could feel my cold hands and cold feet. i could feel it all.
but now i could feel hands on my cheeks, a few tears too. "in and out liyah." billie says and all of a sudden everything feels okay. thats why im so addicted to billie. her words make everything melt away.
i guess me and billie are better. we talked about shit and now we are working on communication.
"still having nightmares?" she says and i just nod. she pulls me into a hug and i sob into her shoulder.
a week ago billie started taking therapy. shes suggested i go too but i always declined. im strong, i dont need therapy.
"liyah baby. i called my therapist and she has an opening for you at 6:00 later. you're going, okay?" billie says holding my face firmly.
im tired, like sooo exhausted. these dreams have been keeping me up every night since they started. i nod my head in response to billie.
"are you hungry?" she asks. i smile and shake my head no, laying back down on the bed. billie wraps her arms around my waist and tells siri to set an alarm for 5:30. i close my eyes and fall asleep to the sound of billie breathing.
i guess im happy. i have nothing to be sad about. billies doing better. shes talking to me. so why do i feel so empty? am i that fucking sensitive? i have nothing to be sad about.
AN
hey besties. apologies for the shorter chapters. they have mostly been fillers. writing is draining😭. anyways ill try to make the next chapter longer! i love you. be safe.
