how can you be angry on a night in july and be warm with me when its freezing outside?
you're confusing me, dont have me wasting my time.
liyah's pov
its been 2 days since billies little breakdown. we barely spoke. its okay though, we both need time.
i wanna say im okay but in all honesty im not. at all. im not worried about me or how i feel, strictly just billie.
i drove us home in her car. she went across the street and hasnt really tried to talk about things. i dont even think ive seen her leave her house which worries me. i dont want her to hurt herself.. or worse. this is what billie does though.
she acts out then distances herself. i've tried talking to her about it but she denies everything.
our conversations are short lived.
billie <3. (liyah billie)
hey honey.. wanna come over?
im busy
okay...can you call me?
read at 10:30 am
i know shes only mad and embarrassed. i wish she knew how to communicate. everytime we make progress billie picks up new coping techniques.
ignoring me.
drinking.
sleeping.
smoking.
whatever she can do to ignore whatever's happening in the real world.
i love billie with my whole heart but she makes it hard to support her. i wish she would just talk to me.
its okay. i'll learn to love the quiet. the emptiness. ill learn how to breathe my own air for a little. ill be okay like i always am. billie will eventually come around. like she always does.
austin's busy with tutoring. normani and madison are in nevada visiting normani's parents. nasia is sick. so all i've really got right now are my animals.
i understand why billies being distant. she thinks its her fault im damaged. its not. if i told her that, she wouldn't believe me.
i was about to take another nap when my phone started ringing. i didnt check who it was and just answered.
"h-hey." i hear billies soft voice ring through my head. i take in her voice letting it spread throughout the room.
"hey honey, how are you feeling."
"im okay liyah. uh i got to go now." she says and hangs up.
i sigh and turn my phone off. it'll be over soon.
shes breaking me down and im already down. sometimes i wonder if i should've built a wall to keep billie out. maybe life would be different. maybe we should break up.
dont yell at me! think about it. we can never be good for longer than a month. i dont wanna say billie has caused all of our problems, but everytime theres a rift in our relationship its because of something she did.
i want to make progress but you cant save someone who dont wanna be saved.
