Worries(Bakudeku,Dadzawa)

Part 1

TW SUICIDAL THOUGHTS AND ACTIONS

"I'm sorry kid." All Might says. He and I were on top of the roof of a building. "There is just no way you can be a hero."

Those words crushed me. I felt like I wanted to fall to the ground and sob. But, all I did was stand there. Frozen. I didn't know if I was frozen, or if time was frozen. It didn't matter. My hero. The one I admired most in the entire world, just told me that I could never be a hero. Just because I didn't have a quirk.

It was all I ever wanted for as long as I could remember. I stood there. Watching him get ready to leave me on the rooftop. I wanted to yell. To scream. But, I didn't. I couldn't believe myself. I felt weak.

Before I knew it, he was gone. Was he steaming? That didn't matter. Nothing did.

It's been around 8 or nine months since that day, and here I was. On the same rooftop that my former idol told me that the one thing I ever wanted was unachievable.

I stood there, maybe about 15 meters from the edge. Just.. thinking.

Maybe Kacchan was right. Maybe I was useless. Destined to be nothing. I didn't want to admit it, but All Might was right too.

You just can't be a hero if you don't have a quirk. 

Those words echoed across my mind. Over and over again. The one thing I wanted my entire life. I've been teased my whole life. Bullied mercilessly by the same kid I looked up to ever since I was a baby.

Not even my own mother believed I could be able to be a hero someday.

80% of the population had a quirk. Why me? Why did it have to be me? The day I found that I would never have a quirk, my mom said three words to me. That's all. "I'm sorry Izuku." That's all she had to say for me to know, that she didn't even believe that I could be a hero. Of all people, my mom should believe in me most right? I don't blame her or anything, it isn't her fault. If anything I was glad she was at the very least honest with me. Some parents lie to their kids, set unrealistic realities that they think they can achieve. When... they can't.

But even through all of that. I never lost hope. Even through Kacchan bullying me my entire childhood. I still thought I could be a hero.

But now... the person who made me want to become a hero, just told me that it was impossible. I knew he was right. It may not be the reality that I want, but I needed to except it. Like it or not, that was the truth.

I could feel my knees buckle. I didn't know how long it had been, or long ago I had dropped my hero analysis notebook onto the ground.

I felt tears falling from my eyes, dripping down my cheek, leaving dark spots on my shirt. I slowly looked up to the edge of the rooftop.

Should I do it? I thought as I glared up. I couldn't think clearly. I didn't think about my mom.

As if I had no control over my body, my legs started to move forward. Slowly walking towards the edge. I thought about my notebook. I thought about taking it with me, but ultimately decided to leave it on the roof.

I hadn't stopped moving, and I had made no physical efforts of turning back. Why couldn't I stop? Why couldn't I stop walking? The back of my mind was screaming at me to stop. Stop. Stop. The other part of my mind was stronger. I couldn't stop no matter what I did.

Eventually after what felt like an eternity of walking with imaginary wheights around my ankles, I reached the edge. I looked down over the rooftop onto the alley way below. I couldn't see much through my tears.

I slowly took off my red sneakers to leave at the edge, where I jump.

I had no thoughts during this moment. I just stood at the edge, ready to take Kacchans advice. To "take a swan dive off the roof of a building". I was about to do it, when I felt a hand grab my wrist.

"Hey! Kid!"