Life is Beautiful

Soul Mate

December 29, 208

  Dear Charlie,

  I couldn’t sleep last night. I kept thinking of Laura and the possibility that she may have hurt herself again. I do not like to think she have, because I really do not know how to react when she does it. I try to talk her into doing different things, like painting or reading, or just writing; which is what I do when I feel sad. My other close friend, Gerardo, tells me to not worry that much. That I just can’t put her problems all over me. That she needs to learn how to deal with problems herself. I tell him I’m always there for her, nobody else is. I just can’t let go of a person who only has me, to look up to or feel better whenever she talks to me. Did I mention she is lesbian? That’s one of the main reasons why she has family issues, although I really do not see any issue on liking the same sex. It is really sad, because she has a girlfriend but can’t see her because of her mom. How would you react if your son or daughter says to you that she or he likes the same sex? I really wouldn’t mind.

  I haven’t got any sleep because I think she may be hurting herself, and she rather do that than call me. I stay up thinking she will text me or call like she used to do whenever she felt sad “I need you and miss you” she would say. It made me happy, because she knew she could count on me, and she could trust me more than anyone else. We became soul mates, so different in many aspects but so equal in many more.  We didn’t judge each other, we know all of our secrets, fears, and ambitions, and no one could ever replace that. I’m afraid because I’d sometimes think that I am a superhero and no matter what I will be at her rescue, but then I end up thinking that it may be a bad thing, because the when she’s in trouble and I’m not there, really not there, what will she do? So my goal has been to let her know that she can put herself together without anybody’s help every time, and that she can keep going by herself, because lets face it, someday I’ll be gone, maybe I’ll live in another place far away from her, or she could be the one moving. What I’m trying to say is, I don’t want her to depend from me, because I am not perfect, I too have my flaws, and I too need someone’s shoulder to cry on.

Love,

Joctan