Life is Beautiful

Mentally Tired

January 4, 2009

 Dear Charlie,

 I’m mentally tired. I don’t know what else to do, I honestly had tried everything in my power to make Laura believe she isn’t alone. That she has people around her who care. That she has me. But she doesn’t care, and she prefers to hurt herself, or do other stuff, and it kills me, because I can’t do anything about it. I talked to her today, and I told her how I feel, but then she started talking about her girlfriend and her fights. I don’t know what else to say about it. I can’t do anything at all. I don’t want to give up on her, and I know this isn’t my battle to fight, I know, but I just can’t leave her alone. Not now, it wasn’t like this always. At first she would call or text every day, and we would talk about anything, yeah she had the same problems, but she tried to forget and smile, and we felt good. She knew she wasn’t alone, but by November it all changed. I’m so tired, and exhausted, but I can’t give up, I made a promise. I will keep it, until she can be happy again.

 Anabel hasn’t called. I’m a bit worried, in fact we haven’t talked since the New Years party. I hope everything is alright.

 I just want things to be good, with her, with me. I miss the old days when we used to joke about anything, and if anyone of us felt sad, we talked about it and comfort each other. But that rarely happens now. She text me “I miss you and need you, and I’m sorry I’m a bitch” so I text her back “No you’re not! I’m just worried about you I don’t care if you’re not there for me I just want you to tell me for once, that you’re ok” she didn’t replied so I called. That lead to a fight, not a big one, just an argument. She told me she will take a shower to calm herself and call me back. She hasn’t. I’m worried, I’m really worried. I have to go now, oh and happy new years.

Love,

Joctan