December 22, 2008
Dear Charlie,
’ve been considering on drinking again. I don’t know why, but I have. I feel like it wont matter anymore. And I hate to think like that because I really hate alcohol. I haven’t drank for a year and a few months. And I’m really proud of it, but I feel like I somehow get drunk of all this thoughts. Last night I wanted to drink, but I controlled myself, and a few minutes ago I hold in my hand a bottle of vodka. But I couldn’t drink it. I don’t want to drink, but I feel like I have to. I haven’t talked to my best friend for a while, she wouldn’t like it if she knew I’m thinking like this. She is a wonderful person you know, she just have a hard time with her family. But she still manage to keep going. So I don’t see why I couldn’t. It’s almost Christmas. And I don’t feel “jolly” about it. I don’t know why, last year Christmas was so great. I thought this year would’ve been the same or better. But instead it has just been a crappy one. I had some fun sure. But then when I get home and get a shower, and sit in my room. I find myself alone. Really alone. And I know being alone is not bad, it is quite good. But I don’t mean it that way, I mean really alone. I don’t have anyone to text “Hey babe I just got home” and she replying happy because she was a bit worried. I don’t have that, most of my friends do. I don’t want to be selfish either, and make you think I just don’t want to be alone. I prefer being alone than being an unhealthy relationship. Anyways I have to go take a shower, I’m feeling weird.
Love,
Joctan
YOU ARE READING
Life is Beautiful
BeletrieLife, can be a roller coaster. It can be the greatest thing ever, and in a minute can change to a living hell. This is the story of a young boy named "Joctan" who is writing to his childhood friend "Charlie" since he moved far away. This is also a...
