Life is Beautiful

Secrets

  January 29, 2009

Dear Charlie,

  Mother got surgery yesterday; she had a small lump on her ovaries. But everything will be alright. I felt a bit bad though. I couldn’t visit her, but I still wanted to be there since dad is not. Grandma is staying with her but still I wanted to be there. She’ll be fine, the surgery was successful but she will have to stay in the hospital for at least 3 days. So as for right now, I’m home alone. Annabel called me this morning. She sounded different, numb, like she didn’t care anymore; she wasn’t the Annabel I once saw on the hallway of school, smiling and talking to everyone nicely. She didn’t sound mad, just, I don’t know she was just weird. “Hey” she said and I said “How are you?” she didn’t answered me. She stood there for a while and then coldly said “we need to talk…” my heart stopped for a second. Could it be because of what I talked to her, about Billy seeing Jonah “talking” to her? Maybe she just wants to clear things right. I’m not sure, but I’m scared.

  I’m also scared because the nightmares came back…

  It sucks you know? At least I talked to Sam about it. She invited me to the movies yesterday. After the movie we talked about different things, about her problems and mine. I was scared she’ll burst into tears on the restaurant we were eating. She contained herself though, I think. I talked to her about Laura, about Bethlish and Yahiris too. But when I talked to her about my nightmares, I didn’t felt alone. It felt good Charlie, almost as if you were there too. I’m not saying she’s your replacement or you to her. But it’s been a while since I have a friend who made me feel like that. We trusted each other that night, and we shared secrets. I hope nothing bad happens between us as it did with Beth and me. But right now I can’t write more, I’ll explain later this week.

Love,

Joctan.