Life is Beautiful

Conversations

   January 5, 2009

Dear Charlie,

  Yesterday was my uncle’s birthday. I don’t know how old he is to be honest. I got a text from Anabel saying she wanted to talk to me. I was excited, I even practiced on how to ask her on a date. No text from Laura. Not a call from Sam. But I didn’t cared, because Anabel wanted to talk to me. So after the party we went to my Aunt’s house for a family reunion, lots of people were there, even Anabel. Her Grandparents live there too. I saw her on her pretty dress. Since she has short hair she only had a small bow on her left side of her hair. Red lipstick, and nothing else. She’s not much of a make up lover. I went and said hello to every one there, and made a bee line to Anabel. She smiled, took my hand and I followed her to her back yard, it was a bit dark but the trees had lights. She stopped me and stood there staring at me, and it happened again. I got lost in her eye sight, and just went blank until her lips found mine. It was a soft kiss. I don’t really know why I’m telling you this, I just need someone to talk to, no one here is interested on how my day was. So I end up writing a letter to you each day. Writing makes me feel better and I explain myself better. It makes me feel better that its you who I’m writing to.

  She is there, holding my hands and pressing a kiss on my lips. I saw a tear coming out of her eye, I cleaned it and said “what’s wrong?” she turned her head so I couldn’t see her, and then answered “I’m confused.” My heart stopped, all of the things I was feeling had gone with the wind and let me empty. “What do you mean?” is all I could say. We sat on the swings her grandfathers had and I was standing in front of her. It was a bit cold so I gave her my jacket. She started to talk about her still feelings for Jonah, but how she felt when she kissed me at the New Years Lake party. I didn’t said a word, she kept talking.This was the first time Anabel had open to someone. In that moment I felt like the luckiest guy in the world, not because she had kissed me, but because she trusted me. The party ended late, so we talked all night. I just nodded my head sat besides her in the other swing and held her hand. They were cold and soft and I noticed something, on her wrist. But she quickly hid it by moving her hand to the other side. She looked at me and said “what should I do?” for a moment I stood there quiet, and I wanted to say stay with me, but the words that came out where “I think you should go for what your heart wants” and then she smiled. She got closer to me and whispered, face to face “my heart wants me to love you… what does yours want?” I looked down and then at her. Locked in her beauty of her eyes I said back “it wants to feel complete.” She looked confused and replied “what completes your heart then?” I said “you..”

 Then my mom called me, so I had to go.

I have to say; the best conversations are always at night, the sad thing is, one of the two always has to go and sleep.

Love,

Joctan