Life is Beautiful

Don't let go

February 12, 2009

Dear Charlie,

  I don’t know how to start this letter; perhaps is because I’m a bit nervous of the fact that today I am going to donate blood for the first time. The doctors say I need to since I have more blood than the average. I’m not afraid of needles though, only hospitals. I don’t know why, I don’t remember a bad experience I had there when I was a child. But every time I go inside one, I get chills in my spine; I start to sweat and my stomach ache. So I figured I had a phobia to hospitals. Cool isn’t it? It’s really interesting how you discover things of yourself when you write; I discovered I write more fluently in the mornings, I’ll write a poem I did this morning.

“Love pity me,

Let me be,

Let me be happy

And free…

Don’t judge me,

Please, for all I’ve done,

Is to love.

To love in peace;

Let me go now,

 I beg of you. 

Don’t do this to me,

Don’t make me hate you.

Love please,

I pledge to God,

I’ve done no wrong!

Please, please, I beg you love,

Let me go…”

  I wrote that in less than 5 minutes. I felt good, despite that the poem is a bit sad. Sorry for that, I guess that’s just how I feel right now.

  You’re aunt called Mother last night. Is something wrong? Why haven’t you told me your cancer cells are back? I… You shouldn’t keep that to yourself Charlie. Mother hasn’t told me either, I over heard them talking. You’re so young, why do you have this?! Why isn’t another person and it has to be you?! Why aren’t you even worried…?  You seem so happy lately, are you accepting death? You’re not even going to fight? Don’t let go of your dad Charlie, don’t let go of Tessa, does she knows? It’s your girlfriend she must know. Don’t let go of me Charlie, please?

Love,

Joctan