Life is Beautiful

Truth

December 28, 2009

 Dear Charlie,

 I feel better. Although tired, I haven’t got too much sleep. But I’ve been thinking of starting to write poetry again. It has been a long time since I last wrote a poem. I can’t remember how is it called. But I remember how I felt after I wrote one. I felt empty. Not incomplete, I felt empty of problems, and worries. I felt happy. Words have a way to see the world from another perspective. So, after mixing words into a few lines of expressions , I felt free. So I decided to write poems again. It’s a bit hard since I don’t know what to really write about. My poems used to hurt people, not because it said mean thing, but because it said the truth. Raw, vivid truth. I felt good, but I was “hurting” other people, I guess. But I want to feel free again. I do not care if people are offended by them, it is how I feel, and what I feel needs to get out of my system before both my head and heart explodes. 

 I’ve felt ridiculous lately, I saw Anabel with his ex Jonah talking and laughing, holding each others hand on the back of the school. Eventually it ended up with a kiss. I didn’t know how to feel. Betrayed, sad, mad, I left to the entrance and bumped with Jasmine. She’s a bit awkward but really fun to talk and she’s very smart. Number one on her physics class. I think she noticed my teary eyes, so she asked if I was ok. I told her “Yes I’m fine” and started to walk but she hold my hand and asked, “Are you sure? Because by the look of it, it seems like you want to hit someone.”  I couldn’t let a word out, I was still chocked from what I just witnessed. So I just kept going, but this time she didn’t stopped me, she just said “I understand you..” I don’t think she understand. But then again, I shouldn’t complaint to Anabel, nor Jonah, I am not hers, she is not mine. I am alone in this situation.

Love,

Joctan