You don't know about Us - A MewGulf AU

Re;review: Mew

Mew Suppassit was a mess. He had always thought of himself as one. However much he appeared perfect on screen and confident to his friends, if people knew – felt – what was bubbling deep down in him, if they would feel the feelings he felt, they would know that he was a mess. It was truly a blessing that he was somewhat of a skilled actor, both in profession and in private.

Yet that didn't help him out when everything felt too much and turned to havoc in his mind. He was used to keeping it all under control, behind a lock and key, in his heart. His brain would rationalize everything that was storming inside of him, and he could pretend everything was okay. To others, to himself. But somehow, the man currently lying in his embrace had brought down everything and more. Exposing it to Mew and to himself. Maybe even exposing it to the world.

When he thought about it, absentmindedly feeling the naked hot skin of the other's stomach – trailing random patterns on it and absolutely melting at the sounds he got in reaction – he kind of liked feeling like a mess. Physically, mentally, if it was with this one person, he could enjoy being a mess.

A mess of feelings. A mess of blankets.

A mess of...

It reminded him of Gulf's words. "It's because I'm dirty." Mew thought, that if Gulf was dirty, they could be dirty and a mess together. It would serve their twisted motivations and feelings right.

But after months, after everything that had happened after, Mew wished that these words of Gulf had been wrong or a lie. For several reasons.

The first reason was self-explanatory. Gulf was the best nong out there. He was a beam of light in Mew's life, an eternal smile on an adorable and handsome face. If there was anything that Gulf was not, it was dirty.

Gulf was beautiful.

Mew had realized it the first day they met. There was a natural, almost androgynous beauty that the other possessed. One that Mew would be jealous of, if it wasn't for the way that Gulf didn't even seem to notice it himself. There was a reason why during the audition day all those fans had stood around Gulf, their eyes basking in the sight of the picture they were shown and then the real thing itself.

It was partly why Mew had been able to spot the nong in the busy waiting room so easily.

It was partly why Mew found it so hard to look away when the nong asked for his attention.

"Will he be alright?" a voice beside him spoke in a hushed tone. Clearly voicing out a worry a lot of people around him currently shared. Mew had been distracted, earphones in his ears while listening to a demo he had produced a couple of days before. It didn't sound right, but he couldn't find why, and it annoyed the hell out of him.

"His portfolio did say that he had done some shoots in the past."

Mew's eyebrows raised slightly, and he paused the track. He hadn't known this particular fact about his new co-actor. That wasn't surprising though, since he didn't know much about Gulf Kanawut anyway. He had come out of nowhere, made a great impression during the audition, a scene in public when he'd received the confirmation he passed – highly unprofessional, if you asked Mew, but Gulf was after all a rookie so maybe it was to be expected – and now he stood here, on a photoshoot for the announcement pictures of TharnType's season 2.

"Well, he's a rookie, so we shouldn't expect too much I guess," the same hushed voice as before. Mew wanted to agree, feeling that the voice had echoed his earlier words, but instead he started feeling kind of bad.

If everyone was going to judge him like that... Mew should at least not stoop that low. Even if Gulf Kanawut was a rookie, he was chosen for a reason. His acting had been great, and he really understood the character. The staff would just have to deal with it, and so would he.