You don't know about Us - A MewGulf AU

Chapter 14: Good day

Sometimes, late in the nights where Gulf was still brimming with adrenaline from what had happened during the day – when he was still hung up on the way Mew looked, cared, and talked to him; making his heartbeat just that little faster with his every smile – Gulf had tried imagining it. Almost like an attempt on torturing himself, he'd imagine himself explaining what had happened to him; about the past between them that Mew was completely unaware of. Every time he would start the conversation at loss of words, in his imagination, but then Mew would grab his hand and tell him "it's okay, I'm here" and somehow that was all it took for him to confess all the things which made his heartache in longing. In other faraway dreams, he'd stopped himself and only told Mew part of what happened, telling the story of how Mew reminded Gulf off his past love and Gulf just couldn't help but long for him.

He'd thought many times about how Mew, about how his phi, would react to his words. Would he be shocked, unbelieving, angry, hurt... understanding? The voice inside his head told him not to get his hopes up; that staying quiet was the only safe option. But he couldn't help dreaming about it.

In any of those attempts to imagine what Mew's reaction would be to the truth, never in a million years would he have imagined something like this.

That question – "Did he love Gulf?" – surpassed the mere grasp of Mew's personality the younger thought he had by a thousand times. He was dumbfounded by the mere possibility, dare, Mew had asking a question like that. It seemed like he didn't know the phi's thoughts as well as he had believed initially.

(...)

"I mean..." still shocked, the younger looked for the right words, but was lost in his own thoughts before he could even attempt to give any sort of answer. Why ever would Mew ask a question like this? Hadn't he heard what Gulf had just told him? Why concentrate on this aspect of all things? "Isn't it obvious?"

He asked those words instead of answering the question. Because truth to be told, even if Gulf knew that that Mew definitely loved his husband, he had no clue about what happened after they switched back. When Gulf had returned home to his own universe, had Mew finally talked everything out? Or did it end after all, lost in their flawed communication? Gulf didn't even want to imagine it, feeling the darkness creep into his heart.

Mew didn't answer, so Gulf tried again. "He told me he did." Although that didn't stop him from cheating at first. That Mew had cried over the letter he received; he'd denied any of Gulf's own love-confessions because he still loved his Gulf. "There's no doubt he loved him a lot."

It was a love that filled Gulf with a sense of jealousy and admiration.

"I see..." Mew trailed off, leaving behind another painful silence between the two. He frowned. "I'm sorry, it's a lot to take in," a dry laugh escaped him, "I'm not even sure if I can believe you, to be honest, nong. This all sounds very insane."

"I know, don't be sorry. It sounds insane to me as well," Gulf's expression mirrored Mew's. Sometimes all of this felt like a strange fever dream, one he would wake up from one morning to find out it was all in his imagination. Once, he almost convinced himself it must've been, but then...

The e-mail!

If he's laying bare the truth, why not tell it all?

"When I switched... lives – I guess – the other Gulf was here, instead of me, living my life," Gulf's voice was small, prompting while watching Mew for any show of emotions. "When I came back, I couldn't find anything that indicated he was here. No letter, no weird receipts... Everything was exactly how I left it," he glanced around his small apartment, one filled with both nostalgia and strangeness.