Guilt TO Love

Acceptance

Smoking is nocuous to health. How many times we had listened to this? Maybe thousand and millions of times. Even in the box of these macabre and malodorous carcinogenic shits, it is debossed in the bold letters the caveating label of "SMOKING KILLS" but still it is a cogitable thing even after knowing every fact about how injurious smoking can be people still chose death. Every time you light up a cigarette you are saying life is not worthy of living. Burnt cigarette ash says today it's me because of you but tomorrow it's you because of me. But even after comprehending the repercussion and threats to life, people do things that will ultimately bring death today or tomorrow. To live is the rarest thing in today's world. Most people exist that is all. Life and death have more like started becoming delectation and adventure to people. No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there and yet death is the final destination we all share and no one has ever escaped it but still, there is a large section of people in society so exhausted of life and everything that death becomes a mere adventure for them.

Death is not the ginormous loss in life. The most ginormous loss is what dies inside us while we live. Normal Cousins an American political journalist, author, professor, and world peace advocate quoted this, and Anna as a protagonist of her own escapades yet depressing biographic story of her life feels every word said by him. She always wanted to be the stereotypical fantasy princess of his prince-like any normal platitudinous girl wanted to but somewhere in his heart, she knew she was different and the story of prince and princess was not for her. She was not frightened of physical death anymore but feared of death of her conscience her reality her true inner self. She was getting strangled with her own trial of matching or harmonizing the standards or candidly said double standards set by society. Life is a small gap between birth and death. Be happy and try to make others happy enjoy every moment of life. This is the same mantra everyone follows to live a happy life and Anna did the same but only until one day some unbidden and nebulous feeling made her feel she was different from other girls in her age.

Anna was on the terrace of her mansion sitting on the balustrade which was dangerous but there were better things for her to think than her death. She took the ninth cigarette of the day and lighted it and blew off the smoke rings in the air. Somewhere she knew the amount of cigarettes she was smoking is not safe but it helps her to calm her so all she did is fuck the warning written on the box. The tip of the cigarette ignited red every time she filled life to it and extinguish and ash fall down every time her pink lips left to take the irritating and pesky smoke out of her mouth. After fighting with his best friend all she did the next day is took off from the office slept still late smoked and did some online shopping with her own salary which was different than other times when she normally uses his father's balance card and it was utter complacency using her own salary and it made her feel proud of herself.

Her cigarette was about to die when her eyes fell on the new bodyguard on the main gate of the mansion. Tall dark handsome in simple words a very appealing man was just in front of his eyes. She stared at the man trying to imagine him naked those amazingly built biceps, those chocolaty abs hidden underneath his black t-shirt silky smooth blond hair, and the way his hands and mouth capacitively moving while he was talking to other guards were sometimes any women can slobber over. She tried to think all the depraved perverted things that came into his mind about the greek god guarding their house just trying to experiment about something. But the experiment failed quotidian times as it in the past because this is the biggest and megalithic secret of her life which nobody knows even her closest people and list includes family too.

She kept staring at the hunky bodyguard vacuously thinking about something until an almost completely combusted cigarette burnt her hand and kicked her to reality. She hissed in pain checking her hand but halted in little nervousness when a voice interrupted her pacific silence of the radiant full moon night.