My Mate Is Too Shy {Jiminxreader}

54) Of Heartbreak

Date: January 10th
Time: 7:22pm
Location: Work
Mood: Tolerable
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"Yoo Yoo is sad."

Y/n looked down to the little boy at her side as he met her gaze with childish curiosity, unaware of just how accurate his statement was. Although she wasn't the saddest she had ever been, she definitely wasn't as happy as she should be. It had been a very hard week and she was trying her best to keep it together.

In one way she felt relief at having finally taken that leap and reaching out for help. That part of her inner voice that wanted to stay locked away had lost it's power now that it had been exposed to the light of day. It was a strange and new beginning that Seo-Joon was working hard to forge the path for her to take. He set up every appointment for her and even joined her on the first one. This wasn't for the therapist Hyuna had recommended, but for a general practitioner to give her the initial diagnosis so that they could then move on to the therapist.

However, just because this wasn't the therapist, didn't mean that this appointment was any easier. She still had to admit her problem all over again, this time listing off symptoms that she hadn't realized she had until she started talking about it. And once she started talking about it, then came the uncontrollable crying. The reception she was met with wasn't what her inner voice had tried to convince her it would be at all.

No one was disgusted or surprised. Not one person told her that she was weak or to suck it up. They were all understanding about it. The doctor hadn't even charged her for the visit, instead she gave her two prescriptions. A mild antidepressant to take everyday and another that should only be taken in the case of an anxiety attack.

And then they had moved on like this was normal for everyone. According to her brother, it was. But most didn't want to admit to it. She didn't have to inquire as to why that was. The answer was already in her head. It had been all along.

Seo-Joon was supportive. Jimin, when she let him know what was happening, was supportive. Hyuna slapped her butt and said 'atta girl!' when Y/n told her that she had taken the step towards help...she took that to be supportive. Her parents outright told her how proud they were and then held a mini celebration of sorts, where her mom made her favorite meal and dessert and then let her pick the movie for family movie night.

While all of that helped, another part of her heart was suffering alone. Because she couldn't tell anyone what she had seen. She couldn't tell them where she went everyday to see that someone. Jimin wouldn't like it. He grew angry whenever she mentioned her birth father. The same with Seo-Joon. She didn't want to tell her mom, as it would likely hurt her. She didn't want to bring it up to her step dad because it wouldn't be out of the spectrum of reality for him to tell Seo-Joon to get in the car so they could go beat the man up. And Hyuna didn't know anything about the circumstances surrounding it, only that the dad she would occasionally mention was her step father.

In this, she was alone. Every day she would take the small space of time in-between school and work to walk by and peek through the window to try and get a glimpse of him.

There was no telling why, as it brought her no happiness in doing so. There was an irresistible pull that convinced her to go there. Sometimes she didn't see him and would be disappointed. But other times she would see him, and be even more disappointed. What was she trying to find? Perhaps it was regret, if any ounce of it could be found in his expression. Maybe some amount of shame in his face would make her feel better but all he ever showed was the infuriatingly undeserved smile he bore everyday.

It wasn't fair. She wanted to scream and throw things at him, to ask why and why not. But she didn't. She stood and watched and wondered.