My Mate Is Too Shy {Jiminxreader}

20) Of Crushes and Realization

Date: ‪October 31st‬
Time: ‪12:23am‬
Location: Home, Y/n's bedroom
Mood: In dangerous fangirl territory
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The darkness of her ceiling was endless. In the night hours the white paint was invisible and one could pretend that it was anything other than the boring expanse of plaster if they wished to. A starless night sky. A quiet lake illuminated only by the moon's light. A black canvas waiting for color to fill it.

To her, it was an enormous screen for her thoughts, memories and the what if's of her imagination to be projected upon.

"You are brighter than the sun."

Jimin's voice played on repeat, the awe and set conviction in his tone confusing and embarrassing her a bit more each time.

The words he spoke, all of them held an overall feeling of honesty to them. But he was wrong. It was her fault. She did deserve it. She definitely couldn't be brighter than the sun because he wouldn't have lasted a second next to her before bursting into flames.

Maybe she was thinking on that last point a little too literally.

Jimin didn't lie. He said what he meant, even if she disagreed. However, she wanted to agree. For what she had thought would be a second, had turned into hours. Hours where she wanted to believe him. Deep inside she knew he was right. However, you couldn't drop an idea that had stuck with you for years just because a handsome man said you were wrong. Ideals like that were more like weights that had to be pried away. That was what he had done. He had lifted a few pounds and tossed them off as if they were nothing.

"You have a beautiful heart."

What did that mean? Now she analyzed his every word, hearing them again and again and she mulled them over. That, and the soft smile he delivered right after. Sad eyes. One crooked tooth. The way he continually swept his hair through his hair. And then that weird hand imprint on the edge of the counter she noticed when he walked away. It was right where he'd been gripping it. How strong was this guy?

It didn't matter. That wasn't what her mind settled on. It was the respectful distance when he walked away without looking back, the space he granted her like he knew she would need it after such an heavy conversation. It was the words left unsaid but ardently felt. It was the tamed fury beneath his skin. His polite rejection of her rejection. His anger on her behalf.

That was when Y/n realized that she'd always gotten it wrong. Jimin couldn't be summed up with adjectives like tiny man, or stalker, or weirdo. Jimin was something else unheard of. Deeper than she'd expected and more thoughtful than he had initially let on.

She had a crush on him.

That was obvious. But was it ok?

Jimin wasn't like anyone else. There was that strange feeling of connection when it came to him, for one. Then there was those sparks that one time they touched. Although, that part she could have imagined. She didn't, and she knew she didn't, but she elected to pretend that she did. Sparks or none, there was still something there.

First came that guy in middle school whose named she couldn't be bothered to remember, then came Jackson. But neither experience helped her here. This wasn't the same.

Mainly because those two she had crushed on. Jimin...she liked. As a person. As a man. Not solely in a physically attractive way, but in a whole way.

Amazing how no one was near and still her face burnt up at the thought of it. Really, this wasn't good. Being oblivious at least kept her from becoming a complete stuttering, awkward, blushing mess. Unfortunately(?), the flood gates had opened now and there was no corner of her mind she could retreat to where Jimin hadn't invaded.