𝔻𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝔹𝕖𝕝𝕠𝕨 [1] || bellamy b. series

Chapter 5

With my legs crossed as I sat on the log, I stare at the three different bodies that were buried into the ground; Atom, Wells and Charlotte. The flashbacks of seeing Charlotte dead on the floor with a gun on her hand constantly replayed in my head. What happened that made her want to kill Wells? I always had the same thought spinning in my head; I could've stopped it.

When I went to comfort Charlotte that night when I met her for the first time, I could've approached her differently. Maybe what I said made her realize that the only way to feel better was to kill Wells. Either way, I knew that I was to blame.

Clarke took the shovel and started filling up their grave. After a while, she sat next to me. 'I'm sorry I accused Murphy.'

I shrugged as I stared at the ground. I felt numb thinking that I was responsible for all their deaths; After all, being a mess up was my thing. It has been always my thing. I came to Earth hoping to get a second chance in life and I've already screwed it up in a week.

'Are you alright?' Clarke reassured me as I stared blankly into space.

'Wells was your friend, I should be asking you the same thing.'

'And Atom was yours.' Clarke said. Hearing his name flushed back the memories from the fog and when I had to mercy kill him. Sitting here right in front of their grave wasn't helping me at all.

Quickly standing up, I nervously smiled at Clarke. 'I'm going to head to my tent, I'll see you later.'

Without looking back, I marched into my tent. With all the death that's been happening right in front of me, I was spiraling. Maybe being alone was the best thing for me right now.

As I walked into the tent, my eyes met with John's. He noticed my red, puffy eyes. 'Why are you crying?'

'They're all dead because of me.' I mumbled.

'That's not true. Charlotte's dead because of fucking Clarke. If she kept her mouth shut this wouldn't have happened.' he blurted.

My eye brows furrowed, not believing what was coming out of his mouth. 'Why would you say that?'

John huffed, 'I mean, it's true. Charlotte felt guilty because everyone almost tried to kill me.'

'You don't know that.'

'Oh, I do. I also know that no one backed me up when I said I didn't kill Wells.'

Chuckling out of frustration, I shouted, 'I did!'

'You did a great job trying to stop them, Y/N.' John spoke harshly.

'How can you say that to me?'

He shook his head, 'I know everything, Y/N. You and Bellamy sneaking around in the cave the other day?'

'Do you hear what's coming out of your mouth John? We had to hide from the fog and Charlotte was with us. You should know, your best friend literally died from that damn fog.'

'The fog didn't kill him, you did!'

My heart stopped and tears started flooding down my face. He knew I already blamed myself for getting Atom killed and he actually believes that I did it. 'How dare you, John.'

He stood there as he watched me cry my eyes out. Guilt flushed across his face, instantly regretting what he said. 'I'm sorry Y/N.'

'Just get out of my tent, please.'

John sighed loudly, knowing that he made a huge mistake. Without another word, he left the tent. We always had arguments here and there but we have never yelled at each other like this before. It hurt me to think that someone I deeply loved would turn against me like that.

As I took a deep breath to relax, I heard my tent opening. 'I told you get out, John.'

'No, it's me Bellamy.' He poked his head into the tent.

With all the stress, I wasn't in a mood for another bullshit. 'What do you want, Blake?'

'Don't worry, I'm not here to be an asshole.' Bellamy clarified, coming into my tent as he sat next to me. 'Clarke wanted me to check on you. Plus I heard you and John arguing.'

'And you care because?'

'I care because at the end of the day, we're all stuck here and we should all be civil with one another.'

Glaring at him, I didn't believe anything that was coming out of his mouth. 'Quit the act, if you want my wristband just take it. I don't even care anymore.'

'I don't want your wristband Reyes. I'm only here to comfort you.' His smile made me feel slightly better. Despite all the stuff Bellamy and I went through, I knew deep down he was trying to be a better person. I appreciate that he was trying.

'Thank you for that, Blake.' I smiled back as I acknowledged his sympathy. Out of the blue, Bellamy forced his lips against mine. I quickly pulled away, staring at him as my eyes go wide.

'Reyes I'm sorry.' he gulped as he rushed out of my tent.

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As I woke up the next morning, I noticed John never came back; the bed was empty. Worried about him and wanting to talk to him, I quickly got up to look for him. Seeing Jasper, I walked over to him to ask if he'd seen John.

He started frowning, 'Jasper, what's wrong?'

'I don't know how to tell you this Y/N, but Murphy's gone.'

'What do you mean he's gone?'

Jasper looked down as he struggled to say his words. 'He said he was running away. I don't know where to. I'm sorry.'

The day couldn't get any better; Bellamy ignored the fact that he kissed me and my boyfriend ran away to God knows where. Plus what seemed like the rocket fell from the sky and of course Bellamy ordered us to not go anywhere until the sunrises the next day.

As the whole day was wasted doing nothing, I sat in my tent by myself. Clarke suddenly comes in unannounced.

'What's up?'

'I wanted to see if things are alright with you. I know that things hasn't been easy with you since we landed.' Clarke gave me a hug.

With a smile on my face, I appreciated a friend checking up on me. 'I've been better but I'll be okay.'

'Well, I'm always here if you need me, Y/N'

Wanting to change the subject, I questioned Clarke. 'So enough about me. How are things with you lately?'

Clarke's face turned red, 'A lot has happened.'

'Oooo, do tell me.' After all the shit that has been happening in camp, some juicy gossip is what I needed to get me through the night.

'I slept with Finn.' she beamed.

First Bellamy, John and now Finn? I thought to myself as I faked smile at Clarke. Things are getting better and better.