something more? ✔️

𝕤 𝕖 𝕧 𝕖 𝕟 𝕥 𝕖 𝕖 𝕟

5 days later

𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑠 𝑃𝑂𝑉

I was sitting on my couch watching some random cooking show while Arabella slept when I heard a knock at my door. I looked at my phone. Who could be at my door at 9:45 at night? I thought.

I stood up and looked through the peep whole. Could it be y/n? Ever since that night she came to my house few days ago she had been waiting on word from Spencer, maybe she finally got a response?

When I looked through my peep hole and clenched my fists. I debated on even opening the door but I did. And I was met with,

"Spencer." I said. And he gave me an awkward smile.

"Uh hi can we um, can we talk please?" He asked me awkwardly.

"I suppose." I told him moving aside so he could come in.

"I'm guessing y/n told you about the argument?" He asked.

"You would be correct, would you like some tea?"

"Uh yes please." He said sitting down on a stool at the Island.

"So what did you want to talk about?" I asked handing him his tea.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about the argument." He said and I raised my eyebrows in surprise .

"Well go on then." I urged him on while taking a sip out of my tea.

"Well I'm guessing you already know the details." He said looking at me for conformation and I shook my head yes. "Well so um I guess I want to say my part of the story."

"If you think your going to get me on your side over my bestfriends, your probably wrong." I said sternly.

"I would never ask you to do that. I just want to explain myself I suppose. 5 nights ago I called y/n asking her to come over because I didn't want to be alone. She came over and well, we went to sleep." He paused taking a sip of his tea.

"In the morning I woke up and walked out to the kitchen to find that she had just made breakfast. We sat down to eat and I picked at my food while y/n ate. I got a little upset at the fact that she was eating like nothing happened and had went to sleep the same way," I cut him off.

"That's just-" Spencer cut me off this time

"That just how she is, I know. I guess I was just upset how she was acting like nothing happened. And then she told me that I should eat some and I snapped. We got into an argument and then I blurted out that our relationship, if you even want to call it that, was over." He sighed.

"Do you want it to be over?" I asked curiously.

"No. Hell no. I wanted it to grow to something more but I ended like a fucking coward. I just just, I'm not enough you know? I have a shitty past and with the recent death all I want to do I relapse and she shouldn't have to deal with me in that state again." He explained, not wanting to even say Emily's name aloud.

"So you like, like like y/n." I asked.

"What." He asked me like I had just said the dumbest question,

"You know, like like. Like you have a crush on her, you like her more as a friend... You like like her?" I explained.

"Rose, I think I love her." He sighed hanging his head.

"You think?"

"Yeah I think."

"Well what makes you think that. When was the first time you thought that I should say."

"It was when I had admitted to her that I needed help. I pulled her in for a hug and told her that she should die her hair back to her natural color. Which I'm guessing the reason she even dyed it was because of Lyla Archer," He breathed a laugh at the last part, "Which she had no reason to be jealous of her, by the way. And then the two days later she had dyed it back and she told me it was because I told her to and I think that's when I realized."

"Realized what?" I dumbly asked.

"That i love her." He said.

"So you do love her."

"Yeah. I do." he admitted.

"So you broke things off with her?! I thought you had an IQ of 187 not 3!" I quietly yelled, keeping my voice down as to not wake my sleeping daughter.

"I just don't think I'm in the right headspace for a relationship right now and I think that's part of the reason I ended things. And like I said she shouldn't have to deal with me."

I sighed, "That's not really your decision thought, Spencer."

"Well what's done is done, and I think, for y/n sake, I have to leave it."

"You shouldn't do that." I told him but I knew he wouldn't listen since he had made up his mind.

"I have to though." He said and I sighed knowing there wasn't much I could say to change his mind.  "I should probably get going. I have to get ready for work starting soon." He said.

I sighed once more, "Come on, I'll walk you out." I said and we made our way to the door.

"Please don't tell y/n what I said." Spencer told me before opening the front door.

"I won't, and feel free to still watch Ara, when you want." I said slightly smiling and he gave me a thankful smile in return before closing the door.

Spencer's POV

I closed my car door and sighed. I was doing the right thing by leaving it alone. I couldn't hurt y/n anymore then I already have.

I put the key in the ignition and started my car pulling away from Rose's house. As I drove down the street memories for that night when I admitted to y/n I needed help played through my head. A tear fell from my eyes and I kept driving not really thinking to where I was going.

When I parked I realized where I was. I was outside y/n's apartment building. I sighed and turned my car off.

What am I doing here? It's not like I'm going to go talk to her. I already made up my mind. I pulled out my phone and shakily touched the contact I hadn't call in four years. I sat there debating on calling.

I had been cleaning for four years do I really want to go through all that again? Throw the last four years down the drain? And then my mind drifted off to Emily. God even thinking about her hurts. Without thinking I pressed call and brought the phone up to my ear.

"Spencer?" I heard the familiar voice say through the phone.

"H-hey um I was wondering if you still sell?" I asked.  Fuck. Well there go the last four years.

...

What did I do? Did I really just buy drugs after I worked so hard to get over them? Fuck it. I started my car again and began driving. It was currently 1:52 am when I pulled in front of Jenifer Jareau's house.

The least I could do was call her first. After a few rings she finally answered.

"Spence? What's wrong?" She asked clearly just waking up from my call.

"H-hey JJ i um- I'm um outside and I-"

"Outside? Hold on." She said and I could hear her get up. After a few moments i noticed the light turn on inside the house and the front door open. Out popped the head of JJ who just hung up motioning for me to come inside.

I got out of my car and slowly walked up to the door. When I reached said door JJ opened it wider signaling for me to come in. 

God Spencer you've dug yourself deep this time. I thought. I wasn't going to sleep with her, what I told Rose was true but here I am sitting on her couch about to bawl my eyes to Emily. I broke things off with y/n, I told Rose everything that happened, I bought fucking drugs again, and now I'm about to cry about it to my bestfriend/ex-crush.

Leaving out most of the details, of course.

a/n: one. more. chapter. :p