𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒~ 𝐵.𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠

SIXTY FIVE

I ended up back at home pacing in front of the tv as this new 'Captain America' was giving some interview.

"John, I think the first thing everyone wants to know is what is it like being Captain America? Do eagles fly overhead wherever you go?"

"Yeah, that and flags tend to start majestically waving in the wind. And how's the tour been? I know they did a big rollout for you, right? It's the greatest honor of my life. Um, but I'm just a little shocked, I think. How did a guy like me end up here?" How did a guy like him actually end up here? Why did they feel the need to make him captain America.

"Oh, wait, wait, wait. 'A guy like me'? Somebody's being a bit too humble. For those of you who aren't familiar with his résumé, John Walker, first person in American history to receive three Medals of Honor, ran RS-One missions in counterterrorism and hostage rescue. The government did a study of your body at MIT, and you tested off the charts in every measurable category. Speed, endurance, intelligence-"

"Look, here's the thing, uh, I'm not Tony Stark, I'm not Dr. Banner, okay? I don't have the flashiest gadgets, I don't have super strength." He wasn't Steve Rogers either, and just seeing him on this screen was enraging me. "But what I do have is guts. Something Captain America always had, always needs to have, and I'm gonna need every ounce of it. Because I got big shoes to fill."

"Did you know Steve Rogers?"

"I was two years out of West Point when Steve came back on the scene. I followed his career very closely as an Avenger. I like to think that I modeled my work after his."

"So, you've always wanted to be a hero?"

"I liked that what I was doing would make people feel safe. Steve Rogers was the kind of guy who could do that, he gave me hope." I wipe my eyes as I think of Steve, I missed him so much.

"Even though I never met him, he feels like a brother." That was the last straw for me, I stop my pacing as the anger consumes me and bursts out of me destroying the tv. How dare he sit there and say Steve was like his brother. Steve was my brother, he had been ever since we were fourteen and he tried to defend me from Dave on my first day of school.

Steve had always been there for me, from loosing Bucky the first time to the blip, he was the godfather to my son, a son he helped me raise. So how could some man who never even met him sit there with shield and the mantle that Steve left for Sam and say he was like a brother. It was just so wrong especially when this wasn't what Steve wanted.

Oh god I wondered how Bucky was dealing with all of this because forget me, Steve and Bucky had been as close as brothers way before they even met me.

***

I got home after a run, runs seemed to be one of the only things to help with all the pent up anger I had and so I'd run and run until I couldn't anymore trying to tire myself out so that I could at least sleep, because I'd only been getting a few hours of sleep a week and that wasn't helping me with my big feelings.

I was leaning against the counter drinking some water when a knock at my door caught my attention, it couldn't have been Sam so I didn't want to open it.

"Miss burns-"  I shut the door immediately when I see that it was John Walker on the other side I knew I shouldn't have opened the door. That doesn't stop him from knocking though and so with a sigh I reopen the door. "Why are you here?" I ask not understanding what he was doing at my house. "Can we not come in?"