𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒~ 𝐵.𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠

TWENTY SIX

It seems the team had collectively decided I was unstable to go and actually help physically so instead I was on computer duty, I was in charge of the helicarriers and making them turn on each other once the chips were in.

"Falcon, status?" I ask as I get behind the monitor and ready what I need to, "Engaging." Sam replies.
"Eight minutes, Steve." I urge, "Working on it." I sit in anticipation as I wait, if we didn't do this in time a lot of innocent people would die. "Alpha locked." Steve informs, "Sam, where are you now?" I ask sitting on the edge of my seat. "I had to take a detour!"

"I'm in. Bravo locked." I feel slightly relieved liked we may do this, "Two down, one to go. No pressure Steve." I tell him leaning back in my chair, "Charlie Carrier's forty-five degrees off the port bow." I say before noticing two HYDRA agents making breaking into the headquarters, I quickly grab my gun and lean further back in my chair so that I can aim and shoot them. "Six minutes."

I twirl around in my chair waiting for Steve to change the last chip when I notice Rumlow on the monitor, "Sam?" I call out knowing he was done with what he had to do, "Yeah?" He asks, "Rumlow's headed for the Council." I inform, "I'm on it." He assures me.

"Steve thirty seconds." I tell him hastily, panic seeping from me very clearly. My eyes widen as I watch the weapons that are being targeted at Washington, the White house, the Pentagon, Stark Tower, aiming to kill over 700,00 people. "Steve..." my panic spikes when he doesn't reply.

Finally just in time Steve has done it so I quickly make sure the targets are changed, "Okay, Steve, get out of there." I tell him before I press fire. "Fire now." My heart drops to my stomach, "But, Steve..."

"Do it! Do it now!" He left no room for argument and so reluctantly I make  the Helicarriers open fire on each other, with Steve still inside. I hold my tears back, as I get up and run for the outside, Steve would be ok I'd make sure of it.

Once I get outside I look desperately in the helicarriers for Steve and Bucky, I wouldn't let either of them get hurt, not again. With all the chaos going on it was so hard to see, but then I saw it, Steve he was falling, I begin to get ready to save him when I see Bucky, he drops from the helicarrier purposefully, so that he can get Steve.

I run a bit closer but stop once I watch Bucky drag Steve from the water, he drops him on the shore and looks down at him for a second before he turns and begins to walk off. My head turns between them, which one should I go after?

"Nat I found Steve." I tell her where he is and then I run for Bucky, Steve would understand it wasn't like there was anything I could've done for him anyways. "Bucky!" I yell as I sprint his direction he heard me no doubt but if anything it just made him pick up his pace. "Bucky? James? Please." The desperation in my voice makes him stop as I catch up. "Bucky." He turns to face me, my mouth opens but then I close it.

What should I even say? He looks at me expectantly, "Do...do you know who I am?" Something flickers in his eyes but it's not recognition, it's pity. He shakes his head hesitantly and I nod feeling everything crash inside of me. "Do you know who you are?" This time it's confusion mixed with a bit of sadness that flits across his face as he shakes his head again.

"I-I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry." I tell him not being able to hold back the tears, his face falls as he looks at me, "why?" I look to him in surprise, his voice was hoarse like he hadn't used it much or he'd been screaming a lot. "I just I should've done better for you." He was watching me in confusion, "I'm sorry that I don't remember you." He says after a moment, making me smile slightly, "you don't have to be sorry." I tell him, "neither do you."

"Can I just do one thing before I let you go?" I ask, if I was gonna say bye to him forever then there's one last thing I wanted. He looks to me unsurely but he nods, I see him tense as I take a step forward but he doesn't move away not even after I wrap my arms around him.

He goes rigid probably thinking that I was going to hurt him but when I don't he relaxes and hesitantly wraps his arms back around me. It didn't feel the same but it was still comforting. I listen to his heartbeat which was slightly quicker than it should be and smile trying to stay positive, he was alive and that was better than him being dead.

"Thank you." I tell him once I let him go, his lips twitch slightly, and he nods, "oh uh, these are yours." I say pulling the dogtags from my neck, they were his and maybe giving them to him would help him with the identity thing. He looks at them in confusion so I step forward and place them around his neck. "I'll let you go now." I say taking another step backwards, "just-" he stops and looks at me as my mouth opens again, "take care of yourself yeah?" I think he's surprised by the amount I care and I can see it's making him feel a bit bad, there's a hint of guilt on his face as he nods and then I smile reassuringly at him and let him go.

I didn't want to but, I think that I was supposed to, that wasn't my Bucky and it wasn't fair for me to cling to him so desperately it was time to let go.