𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒~ 𝐵.𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠

TWENTY NINE

As Bucky is in the shower I decide to make sure the bedroom is ok for him I fix the bed but I stop in my tracks once I see the large picture that was hung up on the wall. I thought it wouldn't be here, staring me in the face was Richard and my wedding photo.

I see the smile of pure glee on his face and it builds up an unspeakable rage inside of me, I see red and all I want to do is smash the picture and so that's what I do, I throw my fist into his stupid smiling face the glass shattering and lodging into my knuckles. Then I grab the frame and fling it onto the ground before I sink down and start crying.

"Rosie are you ok?" Bucky's frantic voice calls as he runs into the room. He exhales in relief once he finds me and manoeuvres himself through the glass to crouch down beside me. Without saying anything he helps me up and pulls me away into another room where he sits me down and pulls out a first aid kit.

I sit wordlessly and let him tend to the many cuts I had procured. "You ok?" He asks hesitantly after I still hadn't spoken. "Yeah, I'm fine." I tell him sending him a forced smile as I wipe my eyes. I'm not convincing but he doesn't say anything, instead he nods and continues to pull the glass shards from my body. "There got them all out, now just need to clean you up." I shake my head, "thank you but I'll be fine, I just need to shower." He leaves me be and so I climb into the shower and stand under the warm water allowing it to run over my cuts and heal them.

Why had I reacted in such a way? It was like sixty years ago I shouldn't care, it's not I ever loved him or anything he shouldn't have such an effect over me.

• • •

Once I get out of the shower I find Bucky he's cleaning up the mess I made, I crouch beside him and help as he collects the glass. "You don't have to do this, let me clean it." I say feeling guilty, I had made the mess I should clean it up. He shakes his head and smiles, "you've already helped me so much let me help you."

"You look really pretty." Bucky hums after he picks up the picture that I had tried to demolish, "thank you." He looks at my face and then to Richards, "you look sad though." He notes, "I was sad." I shrug as I stare at the picture, "I'm sorry." I say turning to him, what was wrong with me? He shakes his head at me, "don't be, I'm guessing you don't have the fondest memories with him." I shake my head, "you could say that." I say tearing my eyes from the picture to meet his eyes. "But it doesn't matter cause that's all in the past." I say focusing myself on what was important.

I stand and grab the picture and take it down with me. I throw it away as Bucky comes down "are you okay?" He asks leaning back against the counter. My gaze falters as I see the concern in his eyes, boy he must think I'm crazy. "I'm sorry, I thought I'd be ok, I haven't been here for decades I guess it just brought up some old feelings." He nods in understanding, "I'm sorry." He says making my eyebrows furrow, "why are you sorry?" He didn't do anything. "You're here because of me." I shake my head. "No I was going to come here anyways, I need to lay low for a while, I prefer being here with you it makes it less suffocating." A ghost of a smile can be seen on his face as we stand across from each other in a slightly awkward silence.

"You can go to bed if you're tired." I offer after another long moment of silence, "I don't think I'd be able to sleep." He admits I nod, "I don't think I will either."

We decide to move to the couch where we'd be much more comfortable, "your husband what's so bad about him?" I shift uncomfortably as Bucky watched me in curiosity, "you don't have to answer if you don't want to." He says quickly. "He just wasn't a very good man, very greedy, selfish, controlling and abusive." I explain, "why did you marry him?" I shrug before resting my head and the couch, "my father needed me to and I didn't see any reason not to." He nods, "I'm sorry." I shake my head, "it's my own fault, I shouldn't have gone through with it." In a way I was thankful if I hadn't gone through with it I wouldn't have been able to be sat here across from Bucky. "It's not your fault."

"Is that from him?" I look down to see the ring was peaking out from under my shirt, I shake my head, "no I sold the rings he gave me after our divorce, they held no meaning, he held no meaning to me, the only way I could get through the wedding was to pretend he was someone else." I find myself telling him and I don't know why. "You pretended he was me?" I look at him in slight surprise, "I-I read about us in the museum." He admits rubbing the back of his neck.

"Yeah I pretended he was you." He gives me a sad smile, "I gave you that?" He asks noticing the way I move the ring between my fingers, I nod again, "C-can I see?" I unclasp the chain, drop it into his hand and watch as he inspects the ring in wonder. "I'm sorry that I don't remember." He says as he hands it over reluctantly, "I really wish that I did." He whispers staring me in the eye and I feel the chills run down my spine. "It's ok." I assure with a kind smile, it wasn't his fault and I just wanted to help him live his life now, he deserved some peace.

"How did we meet?" I smile as I think back to that day, "I bumped into this jerk-" he cuts me off, "Dave Jones." My eyes widen at what he just said, "y-yeah I bumped into Dave." His own eyes widen as they meet mine. "I... I don't know how I know that." I feel a small sting of disappointment knowing he hadn't suddenly regained all of his memories but this was better than nothing at least this is a start.

"It's ok." I tell him as I watch his shoulders slump as he tried to remember more, "maybe they'll just come to you?" I offer he sends me a halfhearted grin and nods, "oh so I bumped into Dave and then he pushed me into the wall, Steve tried to stick up for me but he, he couldn't do much and so I stepped in." A smile takes over Bucky's face, "you grabbed him by the nose." I laugh and nod my own excited grin emerging, "I did and then you came from nowhere and you scared him off, protecting us." He closes his eyes for a second and smiles as he thinks it over probably trying to get a clearer image in his mind. "I did?"

"You did, you always did."