𝐷𝑒𝑎𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑚𝑒~ 𝐵.𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑛𝑒𝑠

F O U R T E E N

It happened again, Steve he sacrificed himself to save everyone else, he was gone too just like everyone I loved.

I went back home alone, I went to Bucky and I's apartment but I couldn't handle it I broke down as soon as I stepped inside. Instead I went to live back home with my father. I couldn't bare waking up knowing that the love of my life had died, or that I would never see my best friend again.

I was miserable, kind of the way father was when he lost mother but without the aggression and alcohol. Father took care of me, he was worried that was clear, he didn't know what to do. And he was trying his best but I didn't want him I wanted Dean or mother but they were both dead too.

• • •

Father didn't know what to do and so he had arranged a marriage for me, I would've declined but I honestly couldn't think of a single reason to. I know father needed me to do this it was good for business or something. The man Richard he was fairly attractive but I didn't love him, I'd barely even spoken to him but he seemed nice enough. 

"Rosie?" My eyebrows furrow as I hold the phone to my ear, "Howard?" Why was he calling me, "tell me it's not true." His voice is fast, "what's not true?" I was actually very confused, "Rosie please tell me that you're not marrying Richard Williams." He spits the name out as though it left a bitter taste in his mouth. "I am Howard why? Do you know Richard?" I was intrigued, "know him? I despise him. He's not a good man Rosalie, don't ruin your life by spending it with him, you deserve better."

"I don't want to marry him Howard but I have to for my father, he arranged the marriage for business." I explain, "I'll bloody marry you if your father needs it that bad." I laugh, "it's ok Howard, oh I'm sorry but I have to go my father needs me." Howard's words lived in my mind, but I had to do this there wasn't much that I was living for anymore, I know that everyone else would've protested this too but they weren't here anymore so I'd just go through with it.

• • •

Richard and I were already having problems, he had been so nice and sweet to me before this but he had an issue with me inviting Howard to our wedding, "but he's one of my closets friends." I protest as he shakes his head, "I didn't take you for one of those girls." He says making my eyes widen, "I beg your pardon." He shrugs, "you heard what I said, I didn't think you were one of Howard's whores."

"I am no whore, Howard is a friend maybe if you were less of a dick you'd have more of them." That made him angry, "you shouldn't speak to me in such a way." He says trying to keep his calm. "You shouldn't speak to me in such a way either."

"You're just a woman you know that you're lesser." I close my eyes and try to keep my calm, I was doing this for father I had to remind myself. "Please just let me invite him to the wedding, I'm only asking you for two invites I don't care about anyone else."

"I read about yours and Howard's relationship in the paper it will give people the wrong idea." I sigh and look down, "if you can't do something as simple as allow my friend to attend our wedding then I don't think I want there to be a wedding." His eyes widen, "what Rosalie no, fine if it means that much to you then he can come." He says quickly grabbing onto me, I squirm slightly uncomfortable in his hold as he smiles at me like he's just done me the biggest favour in the world, I force a smile, "thank you."

• • •

So it was the day of the wedding honestly I didn't even care I was just waiting for it to be over, Richard was ecstatic because he was marrying 'America's golden girl.' He was getting a lot of publicity from this.

"Rosie?" I turn to see Howard at the door, "Howard!" I pull him into a hug so tight I'm surprised it didn't kill him, "you came." He hugs me back, "of course I came, you look beautiful." And then I can't help it I start crying, "I don't want to do this Howard." I shouldn't be doing this the only person I wanted to marry was Bucky.

"Then don't, I'll help you leave, so will Peg." I shake my head, "I have to stay, I can't run out now." I couldn't embarrass my father like that, he was depending on me. He looks to me sadly, "are you sure I can sneak us out of here." I smile at him, "I'm sure but thank you Howard." He kisses my forehead and leaves the room.

"Oh Rosalie." Peggy says as she enters the room and sees the state of me, I'm clutching the ring Bucky gave me, I wore it around my neck everyday and I would never take it off not even today. "Come on lets get you cleaned up." Peggy was my maid of honour, "I know you're adamant on doing this but you know what Dean, Steve and Bucky would've told you." She says as she fixes my makeup, "I know, but I have to for my father, it's too late." She shakes her head. "It's never too late, you're the one that told me if he was threatened by your success then he was not worthy of you. Richard is most definitely not worthy of you."

As much as I want to I don't change my mind, and so when everything starts I walk out to isle and see Richard stood there waiting for me at the alter and I feel like I'm going to be sick.

I close my eyes and then when I open, Richard is gone and it's Bucky that I see stood there waiting for me. The only way to make it less painful was to pretend that I was marrying Bucky the way that I was supposed to.